Zero On The Couch (skit)

Ah, zero, come in, take a seat. Make yourself comfortable, kick up your feet, relax.

So let’s see… what have you been up to lately?

Lot’s of confusion on the internet I see. You really are all over the place.

Facebook, Twitter, numerous blogs,  so on and so forth. Quite the internet A.D.D.  you have going there. Blah, blah, blah… do you really think anyone cares what you are going on about? Why do you even bother? From what I hear you have a love hate relationship with humanity anyways. So why not just go about you business and stop worrying about how others treat and are treated?

Tough questions aren’t they Mr. Zero? But let’s get to some tougher ones. It says in my notes that you became a father at a very young age, 16, is that true? Well that couldn’t have been too easy. “A child having a child”. I bet you heard that before. So is this where your mental growth is stunted? A sort of attachment disorder I fear. You had to “cut your hair and get a job” real quick I bet. Maybe you feel you missed out on your teenage years and this is why we are dealing with a teenager still? Right? Going to the rock shows, hanging posters of your favorite band on your bedroom walls. Is it true you still dress up for Halloween? We call that the Peter Pan Syndrome. Do you fancy yourself one of the lost boys Zero? I mean look at your name, Zero Dinh, I bet if we picked that apart it would be quite telling.

Or maybe you are just going through a mid-life crises. You are getting up there in years. Reaching from the golden years back to those golden days? Happens all the time and can be quite harmless. I suggest you go buy a bright, red, convertible, sports car or date someone half your age. Keep it simple, stick to the basics. You have to be very careful with these things.

I fear your current headings could lead to a total separation of Id, ego and super-ego. And that could be quite disastrous for you and those around you…

Oh, I’m sorry, time is up. And we were making so much progress. Well, that just leaves us more to talk about next time. Try to keep it together till then.

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