What are you doing here? It’s Christmas Eve. Don’t you have some presents to wrap? Well if you grabbed some eggnog and came here looking for some juicy gossip to read, sorry. I’m playing “Nightmare Before Christmas Monopoly” with the family.
So Merry Christmas!
Before any of you heathens start yelling, “I’m not Christian, don’t impose your religion on me”, let me remind you early Christians invented Christmas to pull over some of the pagans. Jesus wasn’t born on December 25th. Christianity just needed a celebration in December to compete with Winter Solstice.
Not to mention Christmas has become more of a capitalist holiday than the celebration of the birth of Christ. It’s about spending money and buying presents for your friends and loved ones. The ultimate American Holiday! (I know, I know, what about Thanksgiving? Shh… we are talking about Christmas) I’m just saying relax, enjoy the holidays.
If that is still not enough to quiet any of you down about “the war on Christmas” (I probably just made it worse), I have 3 words for ya:
MERRY FUCKIN’ CHRISTMAS!