All Things Serve The Beam

For those of you who actually read my blog before commenting (heh heh) you have probably seen me mention that I am Tower Junkie. For those of you that don’t know what that is… it means I am obsessed with the Dark Tower. While I may not have it as bad as Roland, it’s bad.  I am Kai-mai but sometimes also Ka-mai. And on very rare occasions Ka-me. But I never forget the face of my father and I know all things serve the beam. I know Ka (or as Eddie calls it Ka-Ka) is a wheel; its one purpose is to turn.

That is the truth.

For those that have not read the Dark Tower books, I know you have no idea what I’m going on about… but that can change.

My love for the Tower should come as no surprise, I have said I almost exclusively read Stephen King, and The Dark Tower is the center of King’s universe.

I bring this all up again, because a few weeks back the Dark Tower movie came out. I of course saw it.

My readers know I don’t like to give away spoilers (well at least not on books and movies and TV shows, you know what I mean), so I don’t want to get too much into the movie here in this post. I’m guessing since it didn’t get that great of reviews most of you haven’t seen it, and I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who may be waiting for it to hit red box or cable. I do want to say I feel most of the criticism is not quite fair. From what I’ve read most of those who didn’t like the movie didn’t understand what was going on and felt the characters and story line were not fleshed out enough. I can understand why some would feel that way, but the truth is quite the opposite. The true first story is very ambiguous and the few characters in it are not explained very much at all. The plot does not surface really tell the second and third book… but really doesn’t get going somewhere till the last 3 books.

I believe the fear of not giving enough plot and character background led the movie makers to try to add as much as they could while still leaving room for an ongoing tale. This is where it fails. The movie tries to tell us too much. It wants to make us care more about why the Gunslinger chases the man in black, but accomplishes the opposite.

There is actually stuff from the very last book in it, making the movie almost stand alone, skipping all that happens in between. More mistakes in my opinion.

In trying to give more they actually created an illusion that they gave less. So trust me, those of you who saw the movie may have felt you weren’t getting enough of the story, but the real problem was you were getting way too much.

I understand why they didn’t go straight for the sweet and simple western story of the first book. But at least when people said they didn’t understand the characters or their place in the story it would be because you aren’t supposed to yet, not because it was all jumbled up into one quick narrative. Plus The Battle Of Tull would have been so great to see on the big screen.

All this being said, I still feel this movie was a good movie and you should all check it out.

For one reason, I believe the plans for a HBO mini series is till planned, which will cover the 4th book in the series, “Wizard And Glass”.  And that should be freaking awesome. If they do it right (and I know, we have no proof they will), it should spark the interest needed to make a really good movie or continue it as a cable series and everyone will get the chance to be a junkie like me.

Still the best way is to read it.

Seven books, and 1 extra to sweeten the tale. Plus all the short stories and other King books that tie in. Not to mention the comics…

Yes, I’m a Tower Junkie, if any other Junkies or fellow travelers of the beam come across this post please feel free to comment, I’d love to know what you thought of the movie.

And if any of my readers saw the movie, I’m dying for a discussion on it… but I’ve already said too much on it in this post.

So just a warrning, Spoilers in the comments!

 

“Long days and pleasant nights.”

 

Complaint Department Part 2

dph harvard zw 1

As you can see from the dates on the comments above, this is gonna be another post that’s been sitting a while. Unlike the last post, this one never made it to the written form in any way, it was sitting in my head (along with so many other posts that never made it out). Right about this time the whole Jerry thing erupted and it kind of went to the back burner of the mind. But it seems to fit in here so I’m gonna search my head, back to February and get the post out that I had planned but never got to. Luckily I did get the screen shots I needed for the post. Enjoy!

As you see in the title, this is a “Part 2”. Most likely it will be part of a trilogy post, because I’m bound to get more complaints between now and December. If you didn’t read Part 1 or need to refresh yourself here ya go:

https://zerodinh.wordpress.com/2016/04/07/complaint-department/

Though you might want to read these as well since they help show the whole picture:

https://zerodinh.wordpress.com/2016/04/04/shit-list/

https://zerodinh.wordpress.com/2016/04/04/down-a-few-levels-i-go-again/

https://zerodinh.wordpress.com/2016/04/10/sweet-pea/

Jason, who I playfully call Mr. Harvard had made a comment on the SG FB Page about someone who had the same name as Hackett but was not Hackett as if he was Hackett. If that is confusing, go read the posts.

I gave Harvard a pretty hard time for not doing his homework and posting totally wrong information on such a sensitive page. Well, what I really gave him shit for was going at those of us who corrected him instead of just removing his ridicules breakthrough. Again, go read it all if you haven’t yet and see for yourself.

Now look again at the comments I posted at the top of this post:

dph harvard zw 1

Well look at that, Mr Harvard did his homework this time.

It seems my blog does help some people find their way out of the rabbit hole. I’m glad to have helped.

Harvard’s new understanding though isn’t really enough to bring all this back up. I found it interesting and a little uplifting, but I don’t know if I would have done a whole post on it… and then in true SSDD, one person finds their way out and another one pops their head up from the deep, dark hole.

dph harvard zw

WOW BOB WOW! I can’t help but take that a little personally. I should just say STFU Josie and move on. Anyone who believes Dorothy or listens to Dorothy, well I’ve already said many, many times how I feel about them. But I have to wrap my head around this insane comment.

I get some (many) people don’t like me. I even get that some people may think I am no better than those I blog about. But to believe Dorothy Price Hill over the things written on this blog… that’s just crazy talk. I show examples of when people do what I say they do:

https://clyp.it/5snkejby

maureen and dph

doh-mm7-jk

 

murt email to mm7

dph email to mm7

dph sg fb steve vai

DPH leane man

dph nan fb websleuths

I could go on and on… everything I said people said, they said.  And the things I’ve said they have done… they did. You can see for yourself. So please Josie Farber or any other of Dorothy’s friends and supporters, please tell me where any of Dorothy’s Dog-Shit shows true? Where did she actually help any of the cases she has injected herself into? Show me how both her ex husbands are involved in LISK. Show me where her lies and internet slander/bully tactics has ever helped one person! In this post alone I show that I helped Harvard. And the fact that it was to help him see through Dorothy, doubles my point, don’t it? LOL!

Alright, enough on all that, because there are others with not so nice things to say  about this blog, and I feel I should let a couple in.

Kay Look Tweet

I don’t get much Twitter reaction, but I loved this one. I think Kay has some misunderstandings about me and the blog. But to be fair, if “Encore” was the first thing Kay read here, I can totally understand. That post was for people who have been here for a while, it was a fun post that was meant to come across exactly as Kay saw it, so, not their fault. Though their next comment did take the confusion to a different level:

kay look 2nd tweet

TRUMP?!? LMFAO! I’m not sure if this was a joke or if Kay thinks I’m somebody I’m not. Well obviously Kay thinks I’m a woman, which I am not, so yea, they think I’m somebody I’m not. But I don’t ever remember proclaiming any such thing on FB. Who does do stuff like that on FB? Oh yea, I remember, Nan Nan.

Look, I don’t know who Kim is talking about, but they seemed to be confused, which happens a lot here, this is a confusing place, so I will chalk this complaint up to a misunderstanding, they happen.

Let’s look at one more example… I’m not positive they are talking about this blog, but I got a feeling, lol.

websleuths wheres hawk

websleuths wheres hawk 2

websleuths hawk gone becasue of crazy blogger

If I am wrong and you are talking about some other “crazy” blogger, then never mind what I’m about to say. But since I’m pretty sure you are referring to me… pay attention.

First off, calling the guy who calls everyone crazy, crazy, is kind of funny, no? But let’s be honest, if I wasn’t crazy before I started blogging about all this, there’s a good chance all of this could have driven me there.

Next, I DID NOT STALK ANYONE!  SSDD, assholes!  I get tired of hearing this. The people I write about are out there publicly trashing whoever they have beef with, and I’m the stalker? Most of the stuff I read about Hawkshaw was from what was sent to me. But I couldn’t stop reading Thee Rant once it was brought to my attention.

Which brings me to my third and final point on these Websleuther’s complaints. Go ahead and give Hawkshaw credit for saying what he knows about the dirty cops in LI, pat him on the back and throw him a party. Let’s hope more police come out and do so. But don’t accuse me of being part of the corruption for a place I’ve never been just because I also pointed out what someone directly connected to that corruption has posted over the years:

pete-jury-death

pete-walmarts

pete-cousin-serial-killer

Ok, there you go… hope I helped some of you who have a warped view of this place, though I know I probably only confirmed it to most of you.

Let’s see if I can’t write some post you’ll like.

SSDD

I guess the best way to start is to explain what SSDD is for those who don’t know. It’s a phrase I’m sure most of you have used before. “Same Shit/Different Day”.

Simple enough, right? Yea, nothing is ever simple here.

Long time readers may remember that I have three favorite authors. Douglas Adams, Clive Barker, and Stephen King. I came into each of them in that order… after reading everything there was by Douglas Adams, I started reading Clive Barker. When I ran out of Clive I moved on to Stephen King. I have yet to run out of Stephen King…

I bring this all back up because a few months ago I went to my personal library, which is full of many different subjects, both fiction and non-fiction, but yes, the bulk of it is Stephen King books. The movie “Dreamcatcher” was gonna be on and I wanted to watch it. It was a book I had not read yet. So I got the book out and started to read.

I read in different speeds… very fast and super slow… I can spend hours reading one day and then go a few weeks before having time to do so. But when I really get into a Stephen King story, I read every chance I get. It took me a few weeks, which, for a book just under 600 pages, is not fast by any means, but in my world where I can set a book down for 2 weeks before having time to pick it up again, that’s pretty fast.

The book is a sort of alien horror story. A pretty good one. I found parts of the book some of King’s scariest. Most would say “It” and “Salem’s Lot” is king at his scariest, and I would agree. These and a few others actually are books that cause nightmares. There are parts of “Dreamcatcher” that also do exactly that. There is a bathroom scene that is truly horrifying and disgusting.

If you have seen the movie, you know about the bathroom scene and SSDD, but trust me, I read it and then watched the movie right after I finished. Like most book to movies… you really have to read it to get the full experience. The movie was pretty good for the first half… but just lost site of the story in the second half. I understand why it went a different way, but it really did become a different story by the end.

So, yea, if you saw the movie and liked it or saw it and thought it was missing something… read the book. The missing stuff is there.

Anyways, without spoiling too much for those who have not seen or read it, SSDD is discussed by the main characters throughout the course of their lives. At first they don’t understand exactly what it means. Something they heard the older boys say.  In a simple explanation (very simple) they come to understand it in different parts. Same Shit… yea, that’s a given… but at one point Different Day comes along and so much seems to change… in the end though it’s a phrase meant to be together. SSDD.

I’m not gonna speak for Stephen King or the characters in the book, but I will explain what I took out of their dealings with SSDD.

We get stuck in repetition, the same shit all the time. It’s the way it’s designed, so really it’s no one’s fault. I mean we eat and sleep and do all sorts of things in monotonous repetition. So to get stuck in Same Shit is just life. But at times change is there… if you read my very first post on another blog that seems so far from this one, I wrote that evolution is a part of creation. We create to evolve and we evolve to create. Different Day is waiting for all of us who step out of our circles, realize we are our worst enemy and therefore you are the one who can make it all work out or not. You are in control of your own destiny.

Now I may be taking the whole thing further than needed. Again, that’s what I got out of it. On the simplest terms, Different Day can be seen as first time experience. It’s all the same shit, until those first come. Any first. First job, first love, first kiss, first child. SS is always punctuated with first time experiences that bring on the DD.

I hope I haven’t confused anyone yet, this post is just gearing up. I guess it doesn’t matter because in the end, the characters see it as one. SSDD, and sadly it is what everything becomes. SS becomes DD, DD becomes SS, but in the end, it’s all SSDD.

Are you still with me?

Another way to say it may be, “the more things change the more they stay the same”. But SSDD says that and a lot more. It’s kind of a discouraging way of looking at things… but that don’t mean it ain’t accurate.

Alright, that’s enough insight on SSDD. I bring it up because last summer, when I read “Dreamcatcher”, and I read all about SSDD, I saw fully how that described the Zero’s World experience … and here we are months later… SSDD.

To start we have to go back to my first blog here on Word Press, the one we fondly call “The Red & Black”. When I started that one I was searching for a DD. Looking to put a fun, uplifting blog up. A welcoming place that did not promote the “back n forth” you see all over the internet and social media. Though I wondered how long I’d be able to keep that up. Since I planned to blog about the “back n forth” and the way we misuse social media. If you have not read those early posts, please take some time and check them out. No matter how far we have come, I said it best in those firs few posts. I had planned on blogging about religion and politics and many other controversial subjects  that I knew could lead to the “back n forth”, but I hoped to try to handle it differently. To find away to preach without judgement. That went out the window early on unfortunately. I don’t know if there are many of you who have been reading since those early days (those of you who did and are still here… I fuckin’ love ya) but for those who weren’t here, this is what happened.

Cat-fishing had just become a big thing. The movie had been out and the TV show was just begging. There were stories of people faking Facebook accounts of whole families for now real reasons other than attention. A football player was in the news after being fooled by a guy pretending to be a girl. The football player actually thought of this person as his girlfriend and mentioned her on TV, when the guy with the fake account made it look like the football players fake girlfriend passed away.

I was really taken in by this strange new way people were using the internet to fuck with people. And here we are years later and it’s only gotten worse.

As I got ready to blog about all this I came across MM’7s blog. To me it seemed a weird sort of cat-fishing was going on in the comments of her blog. And after all these years we know how right I was. But I learned on MM7’s blog and all the other sites, blogs, and discussions related, they called these fake screen names and accounts “Sock-Puppets”.

I may be boring some of you, since I have kind of explained all this a few times over the years, but I feel the need to recap and fill in so everyone understands the ZW SSDD fully. I decided to put it all together in a 3 part post called “Catfish & Serial Killers“.

This of course led to my LISK Blog and what ever DD I was looking for, once I started my LISK blog I  defiantly found something completely different.

The LISK case it self is a repetitious beat of SSDD leading in endless circles. I think most of you know what I mean by that. I may not have understood SSDD back then, but I knew about circles and eventually I came to a place where I wanted to get out of the circles my LISK blog had led me too and try to move on to something else. In other words, leave the SS and find some DD.

Zero’s World was born.

Again, I have  written about all of this in much more detail many times before, so I won’t continue to bore those of you who have read this way too many times now. Point is, I started Zero’s World and SSDD became modus operandi.

As I began posting on Zero’s World I realized people had been looking into me. MM7 was the first to figure out who I was, but if you were reading back then, you know I had pretty much told her all about who I was, so her searching was just verification I guess. This led to a SSDD that still puzzles me:

Remember, this came from MM7 right around the time I started ZW 4 years ago. MM7 was trying to imply that me working in a haunt could be twisted into something. Which I said many times myself, after all my character is very scary, lol. We all know I have written about my haunt character many times and yes people have tried to twist it… SSDD.

But that’s not the SSDD I’m bringing up here. It seems that MM7 went straight for my wife when looking into me. I xed out my wife’s name. Not quite sure why, it’s not a secret, right?

Again, the names are xed out more in jest, we all know what they say. This is just one example of DPH spreading the word. SSDD!

I don’t know how often this goes on but more recently Maureen sent me something she said was sent to her:

Jesus Fuckin’ Christ! SSDD! I don’t know who sent that to Maureen. She sent it to me more as a taunt then a heads up. My guess was TKAMB, since she’s one of the latest out there bringing up my wife. But I know Ricky Dicky Keeys was sending her stuff about me, and so was Fireball, I think. It don’t matter… SSDD, and one as I said, that still puzzles me. Do you look for info about my wife to see what kind of woman would marry an asshole like me? Or is it like I have said before, a little jealousy. MM7, DPH and others have not had very good luck with men. And you just want to see who was lucky enough to find a good guy like me? LMFAO, that’s it, huh?

What really puzzles me about this, is why you feel the need to tell me, “I know your wife”. Good for you, SSDD fuckers! Ask MM7, Dorothy, Nancy, or Maureen what it’s like to deal with “Sassy”. Over the years I have told you all to leave her out of it, that was  for your own good.

Another SSDD that kind of puzzled me was the threats of violence. From MM7’s husband:

Before I go on I need to point out, I never brought him or MM7’s kids into it. MM7 brought her whole family into it, and others did go at her family, you can read back and see what I have written. Not to mention, I took much down at MM7’s request when others posted stuff about her husband. But let’s just be honest here, the guy is an abusive prick who thinks he can bully and beat people up to get his way. Oh and by the way, I checked, and he did not go to the owner of LISK.com nor was the site taken down because of Danny Boy.

I’ve had lots of threats over the years:

Jerry was all over that SSDD.

That’s Ricky Dicky Keeys, and as I pointed out back then, SSDD!

Yes lots of threats over the years, but that little fuck Malik Boodie, aka Ken Jones, aka The Shark really made an art out of it:

SSDD Malik! And don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, because I haven’t. Soon Malik… soon.

Yep, no matter who came along, Flukeyou, MM7, Jen G, DPH, Nancy, NERD, TKAMB, SOM, Ken Jones, Plot Master, Jerry, Maureen, Ricky Dicky Keeys, et cetera… each one was so much like the other.

SSDD!

 

Note from Zero: As you can see, the above was written back in March. I wasn’t quite happy with it. I wasn’t sure how to express the full feeling of SSDD running this blog has filled me with. It sat and sat and I almost thought I was just gonna skip it. But even with no real new posts other than some holiday stuff, the SSDD continues. So let me put a finish on this post, it needs to go up:

One SSDD that always makes me smile a little is how people praise my blog or say they love what I am doing until it catches up with them.

MM7 used to post links to my blogs and I commented quite a bit on hers. I was very lost at the beginning but I caught on. Anyways, MM7 would go back and forth liking what I was doing  to calling me a stalker. She liked it as long as it went with what she believed or should I say perceived.

Flukeyou and DPH also praised my blog at times, I think we all know what they think about it now.

A little while back I announced Seaslug44 was PS149 as well as NERD. In fact he was a shit load of screen names throughout the years. I know he didn’t want me to put it out there, but I felt it was important for people to know. There are quite a few things about Seaslug44 I think probably should be put out there. but I’ve held way back because we had started talking on Facebook and he seemed to want to clear up all the confusions… I was giving him the benefit of the doubt.  Even though early on NERD had some not so nice things to say about me and the blog under his many screen names (no need to go in to them at this moment), but he seemed to be liking me going at TKAMB and some of the others:

Yea Seaslug44 was fine with me exposing what others did but I guess he might be worried what all I might write about his own escapades. Even though I have not mentioned him on the blog since, I guess he decided to do as others and run away. I wrote him to ask him something recently and he did not reply. Which was strange because he had written me quite a bit before. I wrote him again and he blocked me.

LMFAO!

I noticed a few people blocking me lately. Like that will help.

Some of you make me laugh so much. You say how great I am and then say I’m an asshole. You love it when I go at others and expose them for what they have said and done, but you don’t like it when it is your turn. You see what this place is all about, and yet you come to me and start playing when you have no need too. You could have just stayed away.

But you can’t help yourselves. And one by one you become part of the SSDD.

And in the end each of you blame me… SSDD.

Oh well, we can’t escape it. It is what it is… SSDD.

Oh and by the way Dorothy Price Hill, I know you are mentioning me in your secret FB Group.

SSDD!

America! (Our Last 4th Of July Together)

Our last 4th of July! Damn, this year is flying by, I hope I have enough time to get to everything that we still have to get to.

Alright, before we all light up the barbecue and then the sky, let me get a little patriotic and set the mood (as if the Eminem song above wasn’t enough).

Back when this blog was in its early stages Flukeyou had something to say about the flag posted on this blog:

fluke flag

I fucking crack up rereading some of the old comments, especially, Fluke’s. I explained back then that the flag he was talking about:

cropped-zero-flag.gif

was actually a skateboard logo, I didn’t create it and there was nothing unpatriotic about it. Still… a lot has changed around us in these last few years. It might not be so funny for people to think me or my blog is anti-American!

Damn, maybe “White America” wasn’t the right song to start this post with.

Seriously though, America is racist. And the worst part about it, we had almost convinced ourselves race wasn’t an issue anymore (well some of America at least had convinced themselves of this). Then we elected a “black” President to almost prove to ourselves race didn’t matter… and like a firecracker on the 4th of July, BOOM!

I’m not gonna get into America’s race issues, partly because I have done so in quite a few other posts and more importantly, this post is a list of issues not a focus on one… and I can’t spend too much time on this… gotta go burn and blow up things.

But racism is alive in well in America. And those of you who have read here long enough know of my feelings on how Twitter and social media reacted in the Travon Martin case and how it all led me to right where we are.

Makes ya wonder where America really stands on homosexuality and the LGBTQ community. Right now the PTB’s want to change our direction. It will start with religious discussions of what our true marriage rights are. Make no mistake, it may seem we are beyond the grasp of the fear and hate that used to rule over this subject… but it’s waiting to be brought back.

Let’s go real deep… like the rape culture that exits in America but almost no one wants to talk about. We are way in denial about this. Which is a shame because it blinds us from seeing how other issues like body shaming, “beauty” glorification, and most of the issues women face everyday feed into and allow our rape culture. Uncomfortable subject? Oh well, we can’t hide from it. America’s rape culture affects men, women, and children. Ignoring it only lets it grow and feed into and even darker evil… world sex trafficking. America should be shining a light on this darkness, but instead our rape culture helps it hide.

Too deep? Well we can keep it simple. America’s resistance to take care of its sick and poor is pretty simple right? Which is a good place to get a little patriotic, after all this is the 4th of July.

“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

See what I did there?

Look, I know America has issues… everyone has issues. But Fluke is wrong if he thinks I’m not patriotic. The issues we have can be found all over the world, and in many other countries a blog like this could not exist pointing out any of it. Not only are we free to do so here, but we encourage it. We push for people to be outspoken and say what they feel. No mater how fucked up it may be.

It ain’t perfect… but it does allow us to change things that need to be changed. It also allows us to change back things that should be left alone. America can’t escape circles and repetition… its human nature.

America’s history is my history… and its future is my future. People are people… I don’t believe a country determines what kind of human being you are. Human beings are what they are. And it can be dangerous to have such freedoms America has. How’s that for getting back to the deep and dark.

That’s freedom… and I take it over anything else any fucking day!

This is all mostly based on my own opinion of course so don’t read too much into it except how great it is we live in a country where I’m free to express it!

Happy 4th Of July!

Fuck The World For The Win

When I was a kid the initials F.T.W. meant “Fuck The World”.  I first saw them written on a bloody Nikki Sixx’s arm:

NikkiBloodFU

Once I found out what it meant I kind of took it on as my life’s motto. Fuck The World! It has a simple beauty to it. It served me well in my younger years, realizing early that you can’t change the world or the ways of those who walk it gives you a certain relief and freedom. But as you get older it get’s harder to just say fuck everybody. Now I know this may not be the way it works for everyone, after all there are no absolutes. For some, I’m guessing, it get’s easier to say “fuck the world” the older you get.

Yes, the older you get, the closer you feel to being done with it all. You’ve seen how people can be and experienced the cruel ways of the world… so as each year passes you become a little more cynical and less able to fake that smile as the people around you do their best to screw you. I can totally get that. But as I said it worked in reverse for me.

At a young age I realized the world was full of shit. They all pretended they had answers, and as a child you believe it. But teachers, preachers, and politicians are the great pretenders. Every adult, right up to and including your parents are winging it, not much different as we all do as children. Going with what is told to you, following what everyone else is doing. The idea that adults have any answers or real understanding to what all this is about, like Santa Claus is a nice lie told to children to sooth and reassure them… but it’s still a lie.

No need to get too deep in all this… but for me, I saw through the lie early and with that knowledge I ran with it.

“Fuck the world!” You can’t please everyone, and why would you try when we are all in the same boat, right? No one is better than the next, just a world of people playing pretend from birth to death.

Simply put (is anything ever “simply put” here?), instead of growing more cynical as I grew older I started to realize it was a little more complicated than the simple way I had been looking at it (see, simple, right?).

Having children is definitely part of it. When you have kids (for most at least) you have to give a fuck about something more than yourself. You have to start caring about the future and the way the world is, even if it seems so unworthy of your cares.

Children are only part of it though. For good or bad everyone you come in contact with is a part of your world.  All those around you shape and mold you and are essentially, your life. And in return we are the lives of those around us. We all fit in like puzzle pieces, affecting and being affected.

So from my earliest childhood friends to those of you I have met here on the blog. From my parents to my siblings. From my wife to my children. The people I’ve worked with and those who worked against me. You are my life and make all this what it is… so you can’t just say fuck all that… you might as well be saying fuck your life, and though some may feel just that… I do not.

Heavy, I know. But we can’t get stuck in the depth, we could drown. So let’s just leave it at this:

As I got older, “Fuck The World” became less of a motto and more of just a mood I sometimes was in. If you have read here long enough, you’ve seen me in that mood a few times for sure.

The world, whether you say fuck it or not moves on and so shall this post.

When I first started blogging on WordPress, I had used the initials F.T.W. a few times and there seemed to be a confusion about what I meant (this also happened more recently with the initials S.S.D.D. Which I promise will be dealt with in the next post). So I did some Googling and sure enough the meaning of F.T.W. had changed as the world moved on:

FTW for the win.jpg

At first this kind of upset me. My motto turned mood had become something else. I blame the internet. LMFAO! But really, as I have said over and over again, the internet changed a lot of things. I worked at a video rental store, was actually a manager for a place called The Video Studio in Covina, California (I am mainly mentioning it so I can put it in the tags. I loved working there and who knows, someone might Google it and find this post. That would be cool, right?). I also worked at a few record stores, Sam Goody, The Warehouse,  and of course Tower Records. I really thought Tower Records would be the job I kept for ever. But just like F.T.W. the internet has changed things.

I know… poor zero. My love/hate relationship with the internet is a moot point though really. It too is part of my life (it’s up there in the title, RL and IL… the L stands for life). The internet is much a part of my life as everything else that has been a part of it over these last four decades (has it really been that long?) as it has been for most of us working are way through it. So I just had to accept, that while F.T.W. will always mean “Fuck The World” to me, for others it now meant “For The Win”!

If you think about it, it makes sense. And it actually seems to be a positive move, right? “For The Win” seems much more positive than “Fuck The World”, right?

If you say so. It does fit right into the world in which we find ourselves in now. Helping pave the way for  Donald Trump to become President. It seems to become all about winning now. Which of course, it’s become that way because we had tried to pretend for a while that winning didn’t matter. It obviously does. Participation trophies are great, but we want the win.

Let’s not start drowning in the depth again. This post is not gonna debate winners and losers, but I will say it sucks to lose, we all know that, still… “the devil loves the winner just as much as he loves the sinner”. That’s from a lyric I once wrote. Perceive at your own risk.

Winners, losers, we all get a taste of both from time to time, it’s no mystery why people prefer to win. Shall we move on?

When I first learned of “For The Win” and I mourned the loss of “Fuck The World”, I saw a third phrase (of course there was a third one, everything comes in threes). It was something I had known of since those early days of understanding, something out there like a sickness… growing, infecting. I just now had a name for it, and all I had to do was put it together. Literally.

F.T.W.F.T.W

Fuck The World For The Win.

Go ahead, say it out loud. Think about what it implies. Some of you probably don’t even have to continue reading… but please do.

From the first time I read Book of Revelation at the age of 13, I understood it, or at least how people perceived it.  I now had a name for it.

Fuck The World For The Win.

I guess the best way to explain it for those of you who don’t yet get where I’m going, is to take a look at the terrorism spreading the past 4 decades (my entire life!) from the ideas of Radical Islam. The word Jihad is just a short way of saying, “Fuck the world for the win”. But it isn’t just in the Islamic religion. It’s an idea that flows through many of our worlds religious teachings. The idea that one day the world will end and judgment and salvation will be dealt out respectfully. Everyone has their own version of an Apocalypse awaiting all of us.

See where I’m going yet?

We all have beliefs. We all have philosophies and religious convictions. Traditions passed down from a time we can only read about. Necessary, but dangerous. Necessary because we build our lives upon these beliefs and convictions. Dangerous because people want to be right. They want to win.

So think about it, where does it leave us. I know you can figure it out, you don’t need me to make it clear… just in case though…

There are so many out there who have been taught and believe their way is right and that some day it will all come to an end to punish and reward, again, dealt out respectfully  to each persons own perspective. How do we expect any real self thinking individual to know which way to turn or react. Yes, so many out there who believe the end is coming and see no reason to try to prevent it. In fact, those who truly believe find ways to try to get to that end and prove they were right all along.

Now you see what I’m getting at, yes?

People will destroy it all to be right. Fuck The World For The Win!

I should point out that from the beginning of time people though the end was near. When the Book Of Revelation was written the early Christians believed the end of the world would come in their life time. In fact everyone generation thinks there’s will be the last. The end is always near. To me that proves just how wrong of an idea it is. If you keep expecting the end to come and it doesn’t, when do you finally give up on that idea?

Just in our recent history we can discuss the lunacy of Y2K or 12-21-2012. But people believed it. Shit, we wanted it. People believe the end has to come, so we race for it. After all, the end will prove who is right and who is wrong. and that’s what we really need… to be right, at any cost.

Like most things, it’s all backwards to me. The end of the world seems to be something we’d be happy to be wrong about. And yet so many say, “Fuck The World For The Win”.

And here we are, destroying everything for the sake of an argument that doesn’t really involve us.

Do ya feel me? Can you dig? Or am I the one who’s crazy?

Maybe I am. Because so much of this seems so easy to see and yet we close our eyes and march on towards a destiny we believe was already decided for us.

Damn, I was trying to keep this under 2,000 words, but don’t know if that’s gonna happen. Let’s try to bring this to a conclusion leading into another post (get ready, because from here on out they are gonna fall like dominoes).

I never got a Father’s Day post out this month, lately it’s just been hard to find a reason to come here and write. So that leaves this blog with no Father’s Day post in the 4 years I wrote here. That kind of sucks. After all I’m a father. There is plenty of material for me to write about on the subject. Did it seem like we just took a sharp turn and are heading a different direction? What does Father’s Day have to do with this post? How about a Spiderman reference about paying for the “sins of our fathers”.  Or how many think of that father figure up their in the heavens watching and judging us.  Or how most of us grow up with out our fathers.  I could blog about my own dad. Talk about how untill the 3rd grade my dad was a huge part of my life. Then he was just not there anymore and that’s just how it was. After all I was just a child and the adults knew what they were doing, ha! I could also write about how I’d later go to live with my dad when I was 15 years old and how odd the whole thing was, and get into the different kind of relationship I had with my dad then. Because in between the time I had last seen my dad at age 8 and the time he was back in my life at 15 I had figured out that truth about adults: they didn’t have a clue.

There we go, getting back on topic. Forgive me though, because I’m gonna jump right back off.

Last year around this time I wrote this post:

https://zerodinh.wordpress.com/2016/06/13/when-will-it-be-enough/

As you can read in the post, I had started out wanting to write a post about how no matter how bad the world seemed, that it was up to us to paint our lives with the colors we wanted in them. How what seemed like an upcoming Summer of Fear could easily be turned into a Summer of Love if we wanted to. But the tragedy of Pulse Nightclub rocked us all and the post ended up being a confusional attempt at the realization that it wasn’t so easy to do any more.

A year later and the only difference is I’m not confused. From the moment I hit the “Publish” button on that post to the time I hit “Publish” on this post it has been made all to clear to me the fear has won out.  The Summer of 2016 continued to show that path leading us here. One tragedy after the next backing us all into a corner. Need a personal example to demonstrate exactly what I mean? Of course you do:

Last week I woke up to this song on the news:

This song was new to me… I had just heard it for the first time a few days earlier… I’ll get to that in a moment. The reason it was being played on the news was because Rachel Platten had released an acoustic version of the track to benefit the victims of the nightclub shootings:

Rachel Platten releases new version of ‘Fight Song’ to benefit Orlando victims

So here I was coming out of sleep to this song that was recently familiar to me. It’s a beautiful song and it is easy to see why it would be used as an anthem for standing up against the forces in the world waiting to strike out against us. An uplifting tribute to the human spirit and our choice to stand and face our obstacles. Yes, from bullies to terrorist, the song fits into the narrative we all find ourselves trapped in. A cry out that we will fight.

So it may not come to a surprise that the place I had first heard the song a few days earlier was at my 5th graders graduation ceremony. I had seen and heard a group of children sing it loud and proud as they looked to the uncertainty of middle school.

A couple of quick side notes on all this:

First, my granddaughter (who is still a few years off from her own 5th grade graduation) was with us that day and was reading over the program with me. She saw the name Rachel Platten written in it next to the song title and her eyes lit up. She of course knew the song and liked it quite a bit. She easily sang along once the 5th graders began singing it. As I have said, I had not heard of the song before… I am getting old.

Second, right now, as I copied the song to post it above, it began to play on my laptop. My soon to be 6th grader came running in and sang a duet with Rachel Platten… it was very adorable.

As I said, it’s understandable why this song would be chosen for the 5th grade graduation ceremony, but the song chosen to accompany it is where all this starts messing with my head a little:

I know, right?

Yes, it was very cute. Watching those up and coming adults belt out, “I’m proud to be an American”, was very inspirational…. but in context, well my context at least, it all seemed to be pushing and pulling. Not to mention there was a representative there from both the Republicans and Democrats pointing out how important it was to vote. A message for the parents I’m guessing, since these graduates wouldn’t be voting for quite a few years yet. The whole thing seemed to be getting us all ready for the fight, though that may be a little bit much. But it definitely was sending the message that we will stand strong and proud against all that tries to defeat us. Which again, fits into the narrative we all find ourselves trapped in.

If it seems like I’m getting side tracked, that’s partially because this is 3 posts wrapped up into one. The Father’s Day post I didn’t get to, bled in a little. A post that developed in my head the morning I woke up to “Fight Song” on the news, which I did actually start writing but didn’t get very far. And a 3rd post which is long over due, the one titled “Fuck The World For The Win”.  It’s been in my head for a while now and I had to get it out to move on. The funny thing is, it was meant to be like this… the reason I couldn’t write the “Fight Song” post a few days ago was because it belonged here. These two ideas were locked together in a deadly embrace.

You see, as I said in the Summer post a year ago, the choice between a Summer of love or a Summer of fear may just as well have been made for us. I defiantly believe so as a new summer is here. And it’s not our fault. We have to stand up to these fears in order to get past them. We have to fight for what is right. Corny but true.

Here’s the rub though… and it’s a dangerous one. When we all feel backed into a corner and everyone feels the time has come to say enough is enough. Those out there waiting for the end get a twinkle in their eyes. This is a sign that they are right. And they see the way to victory. They see a way to fuck the world for the win.

Hell, I ain’t saying nothing most of you don’t feel deep inside. You get how it all works. And like I said, the world keeps going on no mater how many try to bring on the end. Still if we keep trying and that lovable, dreadful internet keeps fueling the FTWFTW, who knows.

LOL, now I’m right there with every other generation who thinks that Armageddon is for their generation. And maybe it will be.

To be honest, it don’t matter. Because that’s not the point of this post.

As I have said many times before, the longer I stay away from writing here the easier it is to not write here. And as we all know, I plan on ending the blog at the end of the year. Which is why sometimes with all that’s going on in the world, I wonder why bother even finishing.

But I can’t do that. That wouldn’t be fair to any of us. We’ve come a long way and we can’t stop now. We’ve got a graduation to get to.

So buckle up once again as we head down one last bumpy road together. The whole fucking world can come crashing down along the side of us, this blog is marching right on down to the end. Whether you say Fuck The World or For The Win… even you sick fucks that say Fuck The World For The Win (I know there’s a few of you out there reading) it don’t matter…

 

“Fa shizzel, my wizzel, this is the plot, listen up
You bizzels forgot, Slizzel does not give a fuck”

It Is Happening Again

Finally it’s here!

SPOILER ALERT! As usual I don’t like to spoil TV Shows or movies… but if you have never seen Twin Peaks (movie or show) then some of the following may be a little bit of a spoiler…

After 25 years the “good” agent Cooper may get out of the black lodge. And what about Annie? Wheat about everyone in that strange place called Twin Peaks? I’ve said it many times here that Twin Peaks is my all time favorite TV show. After the show went off the air and after the movie “Fire Walk With Me”, knowing Annie told Laura Palmer in a dream, that the “good” Agent cooper was still in the black lodge, knowing that Agent Cooper has a dream of being stuck in the black lodge for 25 years… I often wondered if Cooper would ever find his way out of the black lodge.

Long time readers may remember my birthday wish from a few years ago:

https://zerodinh.wordpress.com/2015/01/07/fire-walk-with-me/

And like I said, it’s finally here… 25 years have passed, literally (I love it when I can properly use that, if of course it is properly used there, and I think it is), yes literally  25 years have come and gone and it’s finally here.

Thank you, David Lynch!

Thank you, Mark Frost!

Thank you Showtime!

Thank you to the cast and crew and everyone involved in taking us back to a place I never fully left.

One last thing for all the fans out there about to take that journey back with me to that strange familiar place called Twin Peaks:

“I’ve got good news. That gum you like is going to come back in style”.

 

 

Last Mother’s Day

Last year there wasn’t a Mother’s Day Post. But there was one in 2015:

https://zerodinh.wordpress.com/2015/05/10/happy-mothers-day/

And who can forget the 2014 Mother’s Day Post:

https://zerodinh.wordpress.com/2014/05/12/my-moms-a-whore-and-everyone-is-laughing-at-me/

Oh how I miss those early days.

This is our last Mother’s Day together on the blog, so this will be the third and last Mother’s Day post.

First though I need to mention a couple of holidays that just passed.

May 4th, Star Wars Day and…

May 5th, Cinco De Mayo.

I hope every one enjoyed both.

I spent that week visiting family. Saw cousins I haven’t seen in years, ate dinner with my favorite Uncle, and had a margarita with my mom, which brings us to the subject at hand.

Moms.

I have said it before, I was blessed with one of the best moms out there. I’m lucky. I have been surrounded by great moms all my life. My mom, my grandmother, my wife. All great moms. My wife also has an amazing mother and grandmother. I have seen the best mom’s in action and have benefited from it immensely. Mother’s who sacrifice everything for their children. With unconditional love and forgiveness. If, like me, you had one of those mother’s, you are blessed. If you are one of those mothers, you are doubly blessed.

So, one last time… to all the mom’s out there…

Happy Mother’s Day!

Champs Élysées

 

I was walking down the avenue and my heart wanted something unknown(new)
I felt like saying good day to anybody
To anybody and that was you, and I said something (anything)
It was enough to me to talk to you to make you mine

At Champs Élysées, at Champs Élysées
If it’s raining or if sun is shining, if it’s noon or midnight
You have anything you want at Champs Élysées

You told me “I have a meeting in the basement with the madmen
who live with guitars in their hands from evening till morning”
So I joined you, we sang and we danced
But we never even thought of kissing or hugging.

At Champs Élysées, at Champs Élysées
If it’s raining or if sun is shining, if it’s noon or midnight
You have anything you want at Champs Élysées

 

As I wrote the 420 post the other day I was learning about the Paris shooting. That’s the world we live in today. Our good times and celebrations are constantly being hijacked by those who want to take away our individual freedoms.

The attack comes just days before the French presidential election.  That can’t be helpful. France has already been dealing with the tragedies caused by these freedom hijackers over the past few years making the election an important one and a confusing one. Something echoing throughout the world. People are scared, people are pissed, people are grieving. And they are searching for answers. Wanting to stop the madness, but not knowing how to do it.

I don’t have any answers. I just want to say how bad this sucks.

Until the other day if someone mentioned Champs Élysées, I would think of that NOFX cover. I would think of a place in Paris where 2 strangers might meet and fall in love while “madmen” played beautiful music on their guitars. Paris, the city of love, right? I have danced in the pit to this song more than once. When I play it there are great memories and just all over good feelings. It’s just one of those songs that makes me feel good about everything. I want to put my arms around those around me and dance and sing.

Fuck these other madmen who want to change that. I will not let them. At least I don’t want to let them.

I do not want dates and places to become sad memories of senseless tragedies.

But to be honest, if it continues this way, I don’t know if that is possible to stop.

Yes, no answers here,  I’m not even sure why I’m writing this post. It just sucks.

I want it to stop, I know it won’t.

420 Break

 

Here we are 4:20 on 4/20 one last time. Let’s take a break and have some fun! But first some history:

http://www.mit.edu/~thistle/v13/2/history.html

There are lots of things about the cannabis plant you probably don’t know (well some of you probably know, I’ve been told by more than a few people my blog is better after smoking… which makes sense since that is how it is written). Like did you know that it wasn’t until the middle ages that the cannabis plant got a bad name? I know, that seems like a long time ago, but there was lots of time before it as well, and until then cannabis was actually seen as an important plant. What happened, you ask. The same thing that always happens… power, corruption, and the need to control the masses. Paper was an important tool that the PTBs (Powers That Be) did not want just anyone to have. Being able to write and read and share information… that could be trouble for those in power if the masses were able to have the use of something as powerful as paper. You may also not know that cannabis is one of the easiest and cheapest ways to produce paper… in fact before we go on take a look at some graphs:

420 2

420 1.jpg

420 3.png

That’s a lot of shit from one plant… now back to my story.

So the PTBs of that dark time in history did not want to let people improve there lives with paper, and since cannabis was the cheap and easy way to get paper… it became the devil’s weed. A crop that is so useful and beneficial became public enemy #1, a routine that would, like most things from history, repeat itself. It’s kind of ironic (if I’m using the word right, we all know I have a problem with that word) that one of the worlds most useful plant  got its bad name of being dangerous because of just the opposite… it was too helpful.

Like with most things, the dark ages would come to an end… and the useful plant would survive the slanderous attempts to keep it from those who used it. But as I already pointed out, time repeats itself.

Here in America we have had our own PTBs out to smear the reputation of this miracle plant. It started with something that is still a polarizing subject, in fact one of today’s biggest topic… immigration. Back in the early 1900’s believe it or not America had problems with Mexican immigrants. The Mexican Revolution spilled over the border and caused problems. Due to the fact that Mexicans smoked marijuana and brought it over the border with them, laws and propaganda began. And it became a trend.

From Mormons to Jazz musicians… our PTBs found cannabis as the way to get at those who did not fit in to their way of what America should be. Religion and racism… it may have started the fire that threatened to burn cannabis away for ever… but it was good old greed that really kept the anti-pot propaganda going.

With all the new laws and restrictions on cannabis, other companies were able to grow and flourish. Textiles and paper companies and so much more leading right up to the big business of the drug industry all did better as long as cannabis was the “devil’s weed”.

Even though cannabis could put many industries out of business because it can be used for many of the same products, cheaper and better for our environment, cannabis was gone after like it could bring on the end of western civilization. Still greed and the almighty dollar was more important. Just think of paper alone. If we used cannabis instead of trees from the get go to make paper… would global warming and the greenhouse effect even be a discussion? Even though, during WWII, laws were loosened and cannabis once again was used to make the things needed, cheaper and faster, after the war, big business made sure that it wouldn’t be allowed to get in the way of money in their pockets.

This history lesson is getting a little long. Here’s some more to read if you are interested:

http://www.drugwarrant.com/articles/why-is-marijuana-illegal/

But the best way to get the whole history on cannabis is in a book by Jack Herer called “The Emperor Wears No Clothes”:

jack herer

Before we move on though, I just have to say, no matter what your opinion on pot is the true tragedy in all of this is that because of lies and propaganda, real tests on the benefits of cannabis is not done. The fact that it is still a class 1 drug, no one is allowed to see just how good or bad it may be for us. Though from the few tests that have been done… there ain’t much data to say it should even be a class 1 drug. So we are left to wonder just what else cannabis could be used for:

420 medical

But it’s the big C that we are really just learning about. If marijuana was only useful with cancer patients helping them with pain and nausea allowing them to eat and sleep, that would be enough, wouldn’t it? But we’ve known for years it does this and yet medical marijuana is still a fight the PTBs have not given up on. And now there are patients and doctors who believe cannabis may actually be a cure for cancer:

http://www.cureyourowncancer.org/how-cannabis-oil-works.html

Yep, read up on cannabis oil and how it’s being used. Will cannabis be a cure for cancer? I don’t know. But I do know that the continuous attitude our federal government has (even worse now with Sessions), is keeping us from knowing sooner.  That sucks.

Alright enough on all that. If you are still reading (and still smoking, it’s a holiday after all) I promised some fun… so let’s have some fun!

First off, if you are gonna celebrate 4/20 properly you have to listen to some Kottonmouth Kings… almost any album will do, but I suggest “Rolling Stoned”.

kmk rs

For those of you who don’t smoke or just want some alcohol for the celebration here’s a drink recipe just for today:

chronic ice tea.JPG

Now we just need something to do. So, here for the first time anywhere I’m gonna post rules to a game invented by yours truly, called “420 Break“. Yep, the post title has double meaning, don’t you love when I do that.

13 years ago on this very day, I was hanging out with friends and family, playing pool and I came up with a drinking/smoking game. It was kind of like the game “Quarters” only with a pool table. And now for the first time, if you have a pool table, you too can play. You will also need some beer or alcohol and a pipe or bong filled with your favorite strand.

420 BREAK RULES:

Rack the balls as if you are playing “8-Ball” with a few exceptions. swap the 1 ball with the 4 ball, swap the 14 ball with the 12 ball, and swap the 6 ball with the 7 ball so that the purple 4 is in front and the 2 green balls are in the back corners. Here, just look at the diagram below:

420 break rack

Make sure your bowl is packed and choose someone to break. The game is played like straight pool. Call your shot, make your shot. If you make a shot, you choose someone to drink and you shoot again. If you make 3 shots in a row you make a rule. This can be the usual rules of drinking games: no pointing, don’t use anyone’s proper name, or the ever popular you can’t say the words “drink, drank or, drunk”. Use your imagination when making your rule. One of my favorites I came up with was that you have to dance around your pool stick before shooting. As with all drinking games, if you break a rule and someone calls you out, you drink.

There are also special balls. If you sink the purple 4 ball or either of the 2 green balls (14 and 6) then everyone playing takes a hit off the pipe or bong. If you sink the 8 ball, everyone drinks.

If you sink the 4, 14, or 6 ball in on the break that’s called a “420 Break”. Everyone takes 3 hits or just light up a blunt and call it a house rule.

That’s really it. After the last ball is made, you re-rack and keep playing. The more rules that get made, the more fun the game is!

So there ya go, my 420 gift to everyone! Have fun!

Make sure to stop by the ZW FB for more music for your festivities:

https://www.facebook.com/zerosworld/

Happy 420!

Now take us out Em: