Christmas Eve

What are you doing here? It’s Christmas Eve. Don’t you have some presents to wrap?  Well if you grabbed some eggnog and came here looking for some juicy gossip to read, sorry. I’m playing “Nightmare Before Christmas Monopoly” with the family.

So Merry Christmas!

Before any of you heathens start yelling, “I’m not Christian, don’t impose your religion on me”, let me remind you early Christians invented Christmas to pull over some of the pagans. Jesus wasn’t born on December 25th. Christianity just needed a celebration in December to compete with Winter Solstice.

Not to mention Christmas has become more of a capitalist holiday than the celebration of the birth of Christ. It’s about spending money and buying presents for your friends and loved ones. The ultimate American Holiday! (I know, I know, what about Thanksgiving? Shh… we are talking about Christmas) I’m just saying relax, enjoy the holidays.

If that is still not enough to quiet any of you down about “the war on Christmas” (I probably just made it worse), I have 3 words for ya:

MERRY FUCKIN’ CHRISTMAS!

xmas-selfie

Revenge Of The Drone

I have to take a break from the Motley tales to wish everyone a Merry Christmas (while we are still allowed to say it). Hope everyone had a good one. Hopefully Santa was good to everyone.

I have a little story from my Christmas that I though a few of you might enjoy.

Yesterday after all the presents of round 1 were unwrapped and marveled over, my youngest son wanted to play with one of his gifts.

Just to backtrack a week, my wife and I were debating on getting our youngest son a gift off his Christmas “wish list”. It was written near the top in large capital letters: DRONE

When I say (write) that word, “DRONE” here on the blog, most of us probably think of the same thing…

https://mm7vslisk.wordpress.com/2013/04/03/lost-something/

From “drone strikes” to issues with drones and airports, the whole subject of drones seems to be bad. So the idea of giving one as a gift to my son took some discussion.

Those of you with kids will understand, that any strikes against the gift were easily shot down by one important point that just could not be ignored… it was on his list.

A “wish list” made by a young child for Christmas consist of many big gifts, the ones you know they really want, and only so many of them are actually doable, so when they are, you do them.

Once the decision to buy him a drone for Christmas was made, (though as I just pointed out, that decision was actually made when he wrote it at the top of his “wish list” in big, capital letters) the only thing to decide was which one. There are lots of them. Most with cameras, though some of the smaller ones don’t have them. Most look like a sprinkler (lol, that’s for you long time readers). We talked about getting one of the smaller ones, not because they were cheaper, some under $40, but because it was his first drone and he is only 10. It might be good for him to start small.

But they looked too much like those air hog helicopters, and he’d gotten his share of those last Christmas and on his birthday. Plus there were some really good deals on some really nice ones.

So, we decided between 2 good ones. They were not top of the line, but they were nice. One had a lot of features like auto return, which seemed like a good feature, in hindsight it seems like a great feature. But the drone itself wasn’t as nice as the other one we were looking at possibly getting. It looked kinda cheap actually, so we went with the other one.

The drone we bought was pretty sweet. Fairly good-sized, with a good camera on it, and cool lights that flashed underneath. It was this present that our son wanted to take outside and play with shortly after that first round of present debauchery.

It was windy out, we had to get ready to head to grandmas for round 2, and the drone battery actually needed to be charged, but we took it out front and tried it out real quick, again any of you with kids understands.

It had enough charge for us to take a few turns. My son tried it, I tried it, and one of my older son tried it. Just some simple ups and downs at first and the thing took some hard landings. On one of the last times my youngest almost crashed it into a neighbor’s house. He sent it going and it went…

Luckily it didn’t crash into the house, but I told them everyone needed to read about the controls in the manual and understand them better before we take it out again. I also said we’ll have to take it to the park, so it doesn’t fly into someones back yard. Smart thinking, right? I thought so. After all, we all have seen the trouble that can bring.

I set the drone up to charge and the family collected up the mornings booty and my wife and I tried to get the living room back in to some kind of living room order. Ripped boxes and torn wrapping paper put into trash bags and put on the side of the house. Stockings, toys, candy, games, books, gadgets, and clothes all taken to the rooms they now belonged in. Round 1 was over, but the many still unwrapped presents around the other wise livable living room, were there to remind us, round 2 was waiting.

Those gifts (for the rest of the family that would soon gather at grandmas) needed to be packed into the trunk. Then we had to all get ready and drive over to grandma’s for dinner and round 2!

Just as all of this is done and we are getting ready to leave my wife says, “Well that’s that.”

“What?” I reply and ask at the same time.

“The drone’s gone” she answered.

What?!? What?!? What?!?

A few minutes before this my son (the young one) had come into my room and told me the drone was done charging and he wanted to try it again. I told him no, because we were getting ready to leave, we would take it out tomorrow (today) and try it out. I told him  I had read the manual and I will teach him how to use it, but for now to put it back in its box.  Any one with kids knows it was my mistake not to put it back in the box myself. And as I already wrote, just a few minutes later my wife came into the room saying what she said.

It turns out that my son took it to his older brother who thought it would be fine to fly it around one more time. So he took the transmitter (remote controller) and sent the drone into the sky.

From what I’m told the drone flew straight up and the wind caught it a little and it went out of sight over the neighbor’s house. They ran after it, but it was gone.

When I got out there they were knocking on neighbors doors and checking backyards. They checked every backyard around where they saw it go out of sight… nothing.

Here we are the day after Christmas and it has still not turned up. And they looked everywhere. They keep hoping someone is going to find it and they will get it back.

Of course, we know that isn’t how it works out sometimes. Someone may find it, think they were trying to spy on them and call the bomb squad. These things happen.

The whole incident makes my imagination run a little bit and I start to wonder… what if it’s connected by some Twilight Zone reality glitch.

My kids flew their Christmas drone up into the sky where it went through some kind of time barrier, worm hole in Las Vegas 2015 and came crashing down in Florida 2013, almost 3 years in the past, creating a time loop. These things happen.

Happy Holidays!

12 More Days Of Christmas?!?

12 days

The most annoying Christmas Song did not appear in my “25 Days Of Christmas Music”. Not because of it’s annoying qualities… actually that was a plus in my picking of some of the songs. No, the reason it didn’t make the musical “chain” links was because I finally found out what the 12 days of Christmas actually are.

You see, I went to put my favorite version of the song up, but first I needed to do some research on the 12 days of Christmas. And it turns out… the 12 days of Christmas actually begin on Christmas Day and goes till January 5th, though some traditions have being December 26th (today) to January 6th. I like that, it brings us right up the the 7th of January, which is the best holiday of them all! Here, read wiki, it explains it all as usual:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve_Days_of_Christmas

So, for the sake of the blog,

I’m going with today being the first day and that means we can have 12 more days of Christmas Songs!

I’m only kidding…

But if you go to Zero’s World Facebook you will be able to see 12 of my favorite versions of what I feel to be THE most aggravating Christmas Song, but also one of the most fun. Plus there are a couple of Jib Jab Christmas Videos there that most of you will find very funny… one with “Team 6” doing a Christmas Twerk, and another of Lawless America blowing it out their asses (in other words business as usual). Plus I’m so close to my next milestone:

zw likes

So go check that place out:

https://www.facebook.com/zerosworld?ref=hl

 

There are lots of versions of the “12 Days”, again let’s go to wiki to get the scoop:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Twelve_Days_of_Christmas_(song)

Alright, now on to my favorite version of my least favorite Christmas Song (oh who am I kidding, I like the annoying little song) done by two of my heroes from the “Great White North”… Bob & Doug… if you please:

(go to Zero’s World to see a cool animated version of this song)

“that beer is empty”

 

25 Days Of Christmas Music: Day Twenty Five… CHRISTMAS!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Hope you all got what you wanted… and deserved! (heh heh)

Wow, this is Zero’s World’s 200th post!

200th post

200 posts in one crazy year! This is call for celebration! So if you aren’t already celebrating (you heathens), well now you have 200 good reasons to!

Alright now for my gifts… the first one is another Christmas Cartoon I did for the Sinner’s first Christmas Album… I had lots of people wanting me to make a South Park character for them after they saw the first video I made… so I set out to make another one with more of our Sinner friends and family in it. I think I did a pretty good job… see for yourself:

p14

These next 4 gifts are versions of my favorite Christmas song, made in 1984 (as I have said, one of my most favorite years, definitely an important one) by Bob Geldof and a ton of musicians from that year. I’m sure you all know I am talking about the Christmas Super Group: BAND AID and the song “Do They Know It’s Christmas Time?” Say what you want about this song and those who worked together to create it… but it will probably always be my favorite. It’s been that way for 40 years and will probably be that way for another 40 (God willing, isn’t that what people say?). Well for the 40th anniversary of the song, Bob got together another group of musicians and rewrote the lyrics to represent the new growing problem in Africa (and the rest of the world as well), the Ebola Virus. You might not have known that. You might also not have known that Bob remakes the song with new musicians every ten years, which means there are now four versions of it. And again, say what you want, they are all cool in my book, even if I don’t know who most of the musicians are in the other versions. As I said before, what ever reasons people come together to do good… well, it’s good, and let’s just leave it at that. There’s enough things to criticize each other for… lots of reasons to put that “Haters” hat on. It’s time we let the good deed go unpunished… or at least time we tried.

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Again, say what you want… I say bless you Bob! Let the world know it’s Christmas!

Ok… there ya go… thanks to everyone for sharing the holidays! Now look below… you just might find a gift with your name on it…

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY 200th POST!

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25 Days Of Christmas Songs: Day Twenty Four (Christmas Eve!)

Here we are… Christmas Eve… everyone getting that last-minute shopping or wrapping done? I have a few things left to wrap… but other than that, I’m all done! I remember days of wrapping till five in the morning though… and I don’t miss them, lol.

Now when I was growing up, we went through different stages on how to open presents. Most of my childhood we did it the traditional way… Christmas Morning. Then we started opening up one gift on Christmas Eve. This was kind of cool. You hoped you picked a good one, but most the time it was socks. Later my mom decided it was best we open all our presents Christmas Eve… that way we could play all night and let her sleep in Christmas Morning… lol. It worked out for everyone!

Nowadays, with my own kids, it’s strictly traditional… wait for the kids to go to sleep and then starts the task of filling the space up beneath the tree (after last-minute wrapping is done of course), then we are woken up at the nutcrack of dawn (lol, like nutcracker… nutcrack of dawn… I crack myself up) and then begins the opening of the gifts (some of which were only wrapped for a few short hours) and then comes the breaking of the gifts… yes, it’s very traditional.

But here in Zero’s World we are going back to my family’s short tradition of one present on Christmas Eve… and I hope you all like it!

While looking through and posting Christmas Songs I found a lot of cute cartoon videos made by different people…. some were really good. So I thought I’d share one that I made back in 2011. It was for the band Sin City Sinners (they have 2 Christmas Albums so you know they are doubly cool).

I had made a video for one of the songs off there first Christmas Album:

a sinners christmas

And yes, that’s my Christmas Tree:

Sing Along:

Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree

Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree
at the Christmas party hop
Mistletoe hung where you can see
Ev’ry couple tries to stop

Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree
Let the Christmas Spirit ring
Later we’ll have some pumpkin pie
and we’ll do some caroling

You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear voices singing
“Let’s be jolly; Deck the halls with boughs of holly”

Rocking around the Christmas Tree
Have a happy holiday
Everyone’s dancing merrily
In a new old-fashioned way

You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear voices singing
“Let’s be jolly; Deck the halls with boughs of holly”

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon be there

You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear voices singing
“Let’s be jolly; Deck the halls with boughs of holly”

Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree
Have a happy holiday
Everyone’s dancing merrily
In a new old-fashioned way

You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear voices singing
“Let’s be jolly; Deck the halls with boughs of holly”

Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree
Have a happy holiday
Everyone’s dancing merrily
In a new old-fashioned way

Merry Christmas Vegas!

Here Comes Santa Claus

Here’s a post you can actually share with the kiddies! Santa has left the North Pole and is making his way around the world!

When I was younger, I used to wonder how it was possible for Santa to make such an exhausting trip in one night.  Thanks to the internet (I know the internet gets a bad rap here, but it really is a wonderful place) we can now see exactly how Santa makes that trip and keep track of where he is on his journey through out the night. So, go see where the big, jolly fellow is right now… just make sure you are in bed, fast asleep, before he gets close to your house!

Santa

http://www.noradsanta.org/

25 Days Of Christmas: Day Twenty Three

It’s our last 2 for Tuesday before Christmas. I thought it would be nice to take a little vacation from the cold…

Sing Along:

                                 Christmas Island

How’dja like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?
How’dja like to spend the holiday away across the sea?
How’dja like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?
How’dja like to hang a stocking on a great big coconut tree?

How’d you like to stay up late like the islanders do?
Wait for Santa to sail in with your presents in a canoe
If you ever spend Christmas on Christmas Island
You will never stray for everyday your Christmas dreams come true

How’dja like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?
How’dja like to spend the holiday away across the sea?
How’dja like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?
How’dja like to hang a stocking on a great big coconut tree?

How’d you like to stay up late like the islanders do?
Wait for Santa to sail in with your presents in a canoe
If you ever spend Christmas on Christmas Island
You will never stray for everyday your Christmas dreams come true

How’dja like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?
How’dja like to spend the holiday away across the sea?
How’dja like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?
How’dja like to hang a stocking on a great big coconut tree?

How’d you like to stay up late like the islanders do?
Wait for Santa to sail in with your presents in a canoe
If you ever spend Christmas on Christmas Island
You will never stray for everyday your Christmas dreams come true

Ahhh… that was nice… you can just close you eyes and drift away to a warmer climate. Reminds me of a scene from my favorite Christmas movie:

Sing Along:

                     Mele Kalikimaka

Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say
On a bright Hawaiian Christmas day
That’s the island greeting that we send to you
From the land where palm trees sway

Here we know that Christmas will be green and bright
The sun to shine by day and all the stars at night
Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii’s way
To say Merry Christmas to you

Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say
On a bright Hawaiian Christmas day
That’s the island greeting that we send to you
From the land where palm trees sway

Here we know that Christmas will be green and bright
The sun to shine by day and all the stars at night
Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii’s way
To say Merry Christmas to you

Here we know that Christmas will be green and bright
The sun to shine by day and all the stars at night
Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii’s way
To say Merry Christmas to you

Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say
On a bright Hawaiian Christmas day
That’s the island greeting that we send to you
From the land where palm trees sway

Here we know that Christmas will be green and bright
The sun to shine by day and all the stars at night
Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii’s way
To say Merry Christmas
A very Merry Christmas
A very, very, Merry,Merry Christmas to you

 

 

25 Days Of Christmas Music: Day Twenty Two

There was another song on that “Peter, Paul, and Mommy” album that was kinda Christmasy, though the song isn’t really about Christmas… it’s called “The Marvelous Toy”… I liked this song as a kid, and loved it once I had kids of my own. The song represented the album in a way… my parents shared it with me as a young child, and I played it for my children as well. I will be sure they each have a copy of it to play for their kids and so the circle becomes a cycle… and a good one.

While searching Christmas songs/videos I came across another cute little cartoon someone made. Although it is not the version I know of the song by Peter, Paul, and Mary… the video does make it a Christmas Song and therefore playable here on the 25 Days Of Christmas Music:

Sing Along:

               The Marvelous Toy

When I was just a wee little lad
Full of health and joy
My father homeward came one night
And gave to me a toy

A wonder to behold it was
With many colors bright
And the moment I laid eyes on it
It became my heart’s delight

It went “Zip” when it moved
And “Bop” when it stopped
And “Whirrr” when it stood still
I never knew just what it was and I guess I never will

The first time that I picked it up
I had a big surprise
‘Cause right on the bottom were two big buttons
That looked like big green eyes

I first pushed one and then the other
Then I twisted its lid
And when I set it down again
Here is what it did

It went “Zip” when it moved
And “Bop” when it stopped
And “Whirrr” when it stood still
I never knew just what it was and I guess I never will

It first marched left and then marched right
Then marched under a chair
And when I looked where it had gone
It wasn’t even there

I started to cry, but my daddy laughed
‘Cause he knew that I would find
When I turned around my marvelous toy
Would be chugging from behind

“Zip” when it moved
And “Bop” when it stopped
And “Whirrr” when it stood still
I never knew just what it was and I guess I never will

Whirr, whirr, whirr

The years have gone by too quickly it seems
I have my own little boy
And yesterday I gave to him
My marvelous little toy

His eyes nearly popped right out of his head
And he gave a squeal of glee
Neither one of us knows just what it is
But he loves it just like me

It still goes “Zip” when it moves
And “Bop” when it stops
And “Whirrr” when it standstill
I never knew just what it was and I guess I never will

 

25 Days Of Christmas: Day Twenty One

Alright… back to Christmas:

Sing Along:

         Merry Fucking Christmas

I heard there is no Christmas
In the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus
They have different religious beliefs

They believe in Muhammad
And not in our holiday
And so every December
I go to the Middle East and say

Hey there, Mr. Muslim
Merry fuckin’ Christmas
Put down that book, ‘The Koran’
And hear some holiday wishes

In case you haven’t noticed
It’s Jesus’ Birthday
So get off your heathen Muslim Ass
And fuckin’ celebrate

There is no holiday season
In India, I’ve heard
They don’t hang up their stockings
And that is just absurd

They’ve never read a Christmas story
They don’t know what Rudolph is about
And that’s why in December
I’ll go to India and shout

Hey there, Mr. Hinduist
Merry fuckin’ Christmas
Drink egg nog, and eat some beef
And pass it to the Missus

In case you haven’t noticed
It’s Jesus’s Birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass
And fuckin’ celebrate

Now I heard that in Japan
Everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several Gods
And put needles in their skin

On December twenty-fifth
All they do is eat a cake
And that is why I’ll go to Japan
And walk around and say

Hey there, Mr. Shintoist
Merry fuckin’ Christmas
God is gonna kick your ass
You infidelic pagan scum

In case you haven’t noticed
There’s festive things to do
So let’s all rejoice for Jesus
And Merry fuckin’ Christmas to you

On Christmas Day, I travel ’round the world and say
Taoists, Krishna’s, Buddhists and all you atheists too
Merry fuckin’ Christmas to you
Thank you, Mr. Hat

 

25 Days Of Christmas Songs: Day Twenty (1 day of Hanukkah songs)

Alright, we are half-way through Chanukah… and I don’t want to leave my hebrew readers out… so here are 8 Hanukah songs to join in on the festivities:

 

Happy Hanukkah!