Dying Heroes

The track above comes from a Nikki Sixx solo project called 58. The song is called All My Heroes Are Dead Now. The album is called Diet For A New America. It came out in 2000. Don’t feel bad if you never heard of it, most people haven’t, which is too bad, because it is quite a remarkable album. Different from most of the stuff out 16 years ago, even different from most of the stuff out today. The album was way ahead of its time, and still is in my opinion. Please check it out, you won’t be disappointed.

When I first heard this song back at the turn of the century, the impact of what it was saying hit deep. It wasn’t a new concept of course.  People have been singing about losing their heroes long before I came to be. It’s a part of life that can’t be skipped unless you leave early or choose not to have heroes. Both ideas are very sad to me.

I have been lucky enough to both to have lived a little while and to have many, many heroes. I’ve use the word lucky a lot lately… I definitely feel I have lived a lucky life… I also feel lucky is just another word for blessed. And in this world of contradictions, being blessed is also being cursed. I know, that doesn’t sound right, but it’s true.

Back when I first heard the song I was quite a bit younger than I am today, (duh, 16 years younger) and it made me think of my lost heroes like John Lennon, Sid Vicious, and Kurt Cobain. But to be honest, other than Kurt most of my dead heroes were dead before they were heroes and Kurt was a quick flash, in and out, still very influential to me and his death was a shock and left its hole, but again it was all so quick. Also, with these heroes (John, Sid, and Kurt) their deaths were part of the whole romance, part of the story, part of the hero. Sorry words can’t help me get to what I’m trying to say, but  I know most of you get it.

I never want to claim to know what a writer of a song is trying to say, but I definitely don’t mind talking about what the songs say to me. And in this song, I knew that there might come a day when I would feel all my heroes were gone, the blessings of the curse.

I turned 45 the other day. I know most who read here are a little older than me and hate when I talk about how OLD I’m getting. I know, I know, I’m still really young… but I can’t help it, I feel my age. If it’s any consolation, as I’ve pointed out before, I’ve lived a very excessive life, and therefore I don’t just feel my age, but the life I lived as well, and damn it, I feel old.

Regardless, 16 years later (older), and the first of my heroes (the ones who have been there from the beginning and make you feel like they will be there forever) is dead. And I won’t lie, I’m not ready for it. And I’m not taking the news of David Bowie’s death well. Even after a week it’s still sitting very heavy on all my thoughts. I’ve been playing all my Bowie records all week remembering all the years his music was there for me, after all it’s been there my whole life. I really haven’t been doing too much else this week. Haven’t checked any social media or the blogs (and I see I’ve missed a few things, but we shall get to ALL of that in good time). I plan to write a more detailed memorial for David Bowie soon, when I can deal with this loss clearer. For now I’ll end this post with how last weekend crashed into my life, like a diesel truck hauling nitro glycerine.

I had spent Saturday January 9th, 2016 listening to Howard Stern and catching up. I hadn’t listened in a few months. I was devastated hearing of Riley Martin passing away recently:

Riley Martin Dead: ‘Howard Stern Show’ Regular & Alien Expert Dies At 69

Damn, I loved Riley Martin. His death saddened me even if I wasn’t too surprised by the news. Howard had often said Riley did not seem to be doing well, and since there had been a couple other Howard Stern show deaths this year, mentioned in this earlier post:


I had thought that a third death was imminent, and that it would probably be Riley. So I was not surprised, but still very sad from the news.

Later that night I thought about making a post about the things discussed on Howard Stern that day and thinking about Riley. And then I thought about how Natalie Cole and Lemmy Kilmister from Motorhead had both recently died. The 58 song came back to me. These were heroes to people, lots of people. Their deaths were more than just deaths, they were the loss of heroes.

Now some of you may doubt this part, but this is what happened and you can check television listings for that Saturday night if you don’t believe me. I was sitting there thinking about dying heroes and the 58 song and a David Bowie documentary came on the T.V. It was called David Bowie: 5 Years. I had never seen it before, and it was so good and brought me to some great memories I have that go along with all those Bowie songs discussed in the documentary. It was cheering me up and then the drastic thought came to me.

The song tells the truth, my heroes will all be dead one day.

Not David Bowie though, I told myself as “Diamond Dogs” played on my T.V. I couldn’t even let the thought form completely. I still hadn’t seen a David Bowie show, surely David wasn’t going anywhere till I saw him live. But something dark nudged at my soul. Still I would not let the thought finish in my head. It was just too much to wrap my head around.

Until the next day when I was forced to finish the thought.

I had just come to the blog and was deciding if I would write about Howard Stern or the many other things in my head begging to be worked into posts, the television was on,  news (as usual) and they announced that David Bowie had died.

I just looked at the screen at first not believing it, it was a trick of some kind. I looked at my wife who immediately teared up, she was seeing what I was seeing.

I cried out. “No…”

My wife said that she had woken up last night saw I was watching something about David Bowie and she had thought that she would really like to see him live again (Sassy was lucky (blessed) enough to see David Bowie live with Nine Inch Nails), I told her I had been thinking how great it would be for us to go see him live together. Then we both had tears running down our faces.

I turned off the computer, no longer in the mood to write a post and put on my copy of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars.

And that’s where I’ve been the whole week, lost in my Bowie records, felling my age, mourning the loss of my hero.

Motley In Vegas

So, we moved to Las Vegas, had a 4th child (another boy, so 2 girls, 2 boys), and then everything changed.

I won’t get into the details or place too much blame, but my wife and I had outgrown each other and decided to get divorced.

As most of you reading know, I got custody of the kids but I didn’t raise them alone, because I met Sassy (she worked with me at Tower Records). Sassy was an angel sent straight from heaven, my soul mate, best friend, and with out her I don’t know what would have happened, an angel sent straight from heaven.

And guess what… Vince got back with Motley Crue!

Yep, Vince rejoined the band and the result was Generation Swine:

Generation swine frontal

In my list of favorite Motley albums, this one comes in second, right after the first album Too Fast For Love.

As usual, my first taste of it was a video:

What a freaking cool video! What a freaking cool song! And the fact that Hustler Magazine creator Larry Flint being in the video was a lot like when they did the Clockwork Orange thing. No need to elaborate there, I don’t think.

For the first time, I had the internet to see what people thought of the new album, and most hated it. They said it was one of the worst. Really? Fucking haters. This album was way ahead of its time. And once again, people did not like Motley changing with the times. Well. People other than me. I love this album! One listen to the updated Shout At The Devil and you knew Crue was back and they were playing for keeps:

So when they came to Vegas, I was there. This time I would be taking a lot of people for their first Motley concert. My future wife Sassy had never seen them, that needed to be fixed. My sister was in town visiting, so I got her a ticket for her first Motley experience. Two of Sassy’s close friends also came with us to see Motley Crue for the first time. This would also be the first Motley Crue show for one of my kids. Well, first one that wasn’t in  utero.

My oldest who was now 10 years old came along for her first concert and just like mine, it was Motley Crue!

So me, Sassy, my daughter, my sister, and two good friends all in August of 1997 all went to see if Motley still had it.

I should point out that they were playing at the Aladdin Casino which was being closed down and remodeled. So this was the last show to be played there before it shut down:

And let me tell you, it was one of the wildest shows I have ever seen. First off Live Wire definitely returned to the best song of the night but it was joined by a couple new ones. Right before Vince had left the Crue, they had released a greatest hits album to celebrate 10 years together and on it was a remake of Sex Pistol’s Anarchy in The U.K. and a new song called Primal Scream. Many consider Primal Scream their favorite Motley song and with good reason, the song is the shit! It came out, as I said right before Vince was gone, so I had only heard it live with John Corabi, and I have to admit it just wasn’t right. But now with Vince back it could become what it was meant to be live. Which is awesome!

Yes. that song is the shit!

Together with the Anarchy cover, the show we saw that night was very punk rock. My roots, and I fucking loved it!

Towards the end of the show the band said since it was the last night of the theater being opened that maybe some destruction was needed. They told everyone to come down to the front. We were pretty far back, and it was my 10-year-old daughters first concert so we stayed back. Well most of us did. Sassy’s friends wanted to head down and I said to them, “What are you waiting for?”

They went down and we watched as most of the theater crowed to the front of the stage and begin to rip out chairs, passing them aside making a standing room only floor where it was all seated theater just moments before.

It was madness and the boys in the band were encouraging all of it!

It didn’t stop after the show either. That place was out of control, everyone trying to tear the place down. When I came out of the bathroom two girl were dragging a pay phone across the floor. At closer look, I realized it was Sassy and her friend. A security guard quickly came up and told them to leave it alone. And just for the record someone else had pulled it from the wall, Sassy and her friend just started dragging it after it was on the ground.

There were cops lined up at the front ready to come in if needed, but over all everyone kept their cool, no one was hurt and no real riot broke out.

Just a side note here… a few years later Motley Crue returned to Vegas and did find themselves in trouble for inciting a riot:


Unfortunately I was not at that show, and I want tot stress, that all though the Aladdin show got a little out of hand, my daughter was never in danger. It was a fun night and EVERYONE had the time of their lives. I still have a “no smoking” sign that I took from the theater  hanging in my bathroom.

And all those who came with me to the show now understood what a big deal a Motley Crue show was.

Live Without Vince

Exactly wo years after I sat in the hospital holding my daughter after one of the best concerts I would ever see in my life,  tragedy struck

February 14, 1992 Vince Neil was kicked out of Motley Crue. I was devastated.

I was still working as a manager of a video store in Covina, when I heard Vince Neil on a local radio station (Pirate Radio). I was at work and a customer came in while I was listening to it and a tear fell from my eye. The customer kidded me about it, but only a little, my customers knew how big of a Motley fan I was.  In fact working at a video store in Covina meant  a lot of my customers went to school with Vince and/or Tommy. And in the 3 years I spent at The Video Studio in Covina, California, I met all sorts of people who had opinions of Vince Neil and Tommy Lee, I met ex girlfriends, class mates, and even Tommy Lee’s sister and mother once. My brother actually went to school with Vince Neil’s daughter. Most people didn’t have nice things about Vince, a lot of guys claiming they kicked his ass, blah blah, blah. Everyone loved Tommy though, a classmate of his told me he was always banging on the desk like drums and saying he was gonna be a rock star one day.

So yes, my customers knew I was a Crue Junkie and they fed me well. One of Vince Neil’s ex girlfriends sold me a bunch of stuff from those early days including an autographed copy of Leathur Records version of Too Fast For Love. For those who aren’t die-hard fans I’ll explain. Motley Crue couldn’t get signed at first, so they started their own record label called Lethur Records and released an early version of Too Fast For Love. The album sold over like 20, 000 copies and Electra Records snatched them up, dropped the song Stick To Your Guns, and touched up the rest, and released it under Electra. The copy I have is even before what The Crue sold. The one I have is an original before art work was changed (Vince Neil didn’t like the way his hair looked in it, from what the ex girlfriend says. And in the one I have the hair is real puffy and funny looking against the white background of the album. The ex girlfriend told me Nikki called him tampon head, that tells you what it looks like. So they cropped Vince’s hair in the copies they sold and on the version Electra put out.) My copy was Vince’s personal copy from what I’m told. And that was just some of the cool things I got from Vince’s ex. Thanks to her being a member at the video store I worked at, my Motley collection is huge!

So there I was at work, tears running down my cheek while Vince Neil announced on the radio that he was no longer part of Motley Crue. Yes, I was devastated!

Nikki and the rest of the band would later come out and say Vince quit the band, something still disputed to this day. Regardless the result was Vince going solo and Motley getting a new lead singer.

There were lots of rumors about who might replace Vince but the guy who got the gig was John Corabi, lead singer of a band called The Scream who had a small hit not to long before he left his band and joined up with The Crue:

I was desperately waiting to see and hear what this would do to Motley, and like usual it came from a video. I was visiting my dad when this video came on MTV:

I was ecstatic. It was like when I first heard Dr. Feelgood or the first time I saw the Too Young To Fall In Love Video. It was so new, so different, and yet it was Motley Crue. And the video has major “Clockwork Orange” references, easily one of my top 3 favorite movies. I couldn’t wait for the new album to come out.

Since the last time I had seen them live we had another child. Our first boy. We had moved to Oakland for a while, back to Lake Elsinore before returning to Covina. I was working at Tower Records in West Covina (The Video Studio sadly closed down) when the new album would come out, simply titled Motley Crue. Working there I got to hear what people thought and most people didn’t like it. I don’t think people were ready for it, but to this day it is still one of my favorites.

With songs like Misunderstood, Drift Away, and Loveshine:

This was a more mature Motley Crue and maybe some of the fans weren’t ready for it (like they weren’t ready for Theater of Pain, or how they wouldn’t be ready for Generation Swine in the near future, but we’ll get to that in the next post). I get people don’t like change, but that’s one of the reasons I stuck with the Crue so long, they grew with me… not that there aren’t some great rockers on the album:

The album was great, fuck all the haters, and when I saw tickets were going on sale for the “Anywhere There’s Electricity” show I was there to get them.

Since there was a Ticket Master right in Tower Records I went while I was at work and got 4 tickets for August, 1994 at the Palladium. I was going to see the Crue for the third time! Well most of them. Three of them and a new guy. This would be the only time I see them live without all 4 of the original Crue.

My then wife of course went to the show, it was only fair that she get to see the band without the contractions. I took my brother Michael, I believe some of you know him, (it was his very first concert) and my then wife’s brother (is that a confusing sentence? I took my ex-wife (though she was my wife at the time), her brother, and my brother.

This was just a few days before I would move to Las Vegas and it was quite different then the shows I was used to.

I was used to big arena shows, Palladium is tiny. Which for me made the night very personal.

Highlights: Nikki Sixx doing a bass solo and jumped into the crowd, body surfing while playing his bass. The new album was way heavier on the bass than the previous albums and Nikki’s bass was like the heartbeat of the show.

I also crowd surfed. It was my first time doing it and it was fucking awesome. If you have never been floating on top of the crowd as your favorite band rocks out, you haven’t lived. When you come down from the crowd you end up in that area between the crowd and the stage where a big security guard rushes you out and back into the show. One of the times I came down into this area I found myself staring right up at Nikki and he was looking at me. He held out his hand reaching down at me from the stage, I held mine out and shook his hand, mumbling “I love you”. I know, what a corny fruitcake. But I was starstruck.  And at that moment I was a teen age girl, I know it and accept it.

Tommy’s extravagant drum solo was stripped way down, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t bad ass! Fit into the pounding solo was some of Tommy’s song Planet Boom:

The song is from the EP Quarternary, a special CD you could order where each member of Motley did their own song. I have a couple of copies of it including the Japanese import with several extra songs. What a “fan boy”.

Although the drum solo was simple, it hit the mark. It was the first time, and maybe the only time, I saw people form a mosh pit to a drum solo.

I should point out my brother had a great time at his first concert, though my ex wife’s brother did not enjoy it as much. He said he had a hard time figuring out what songs were playing. He didn’t know the new stuff too well and the old stuff did sound different with John singing, but that’s what I liked about it. It was so different. My ex had a good time too, after all there was no one in her tummy banging to get out and enjoy the show. Though she did have a little one in her tummy. We didn’t know it at the time, but she was a few weeks pregnant with out fourth and last child together (next post).

Well fuck my ex’s brother, the show was awesome! Though since it was so different, it was the only time Live Wire was not the song of the night. For me it wasn’t really one song but a group of them that stands out.

Towards the end of the show, some couches were put out on stage and a bunch of people were picked from the audience and went up and sat in them. It was set up like a living room and the band did an acoustic session, with about 10 fans sitting around on stage with them. I wasn’t one of them, but I still enjoyed watching it.

They did Home Sweet Home. a cover of The Beatles’ Revolution, Loveshine, and Don’t go Away Mad (Just Go Away). All acoustic. Definitely the highlight of the night for me.

It was an end of an era for me.

Shortly afterwards, I said good bye to Southern California where I had lived for most of my 23 years at that point and headed to the lights of Las Vegas. And by the time Motley would come back around life once again had changed drastically while staying quite the same.

Dr. Feelgood

By the time 1987 came around with Motley’s  fourth album “Girls. Girls. Girls” A lot had changed in my life. A lot for just 2 short years at least. I had moved from Perris, California to live in Lake Elsinore, California with my dad (my mom and step dad were getting back together and it was for the best that I go live with my dad). And then not long after that I got my girlfriend pregnant and we were now living in our own studio apartment (with a Murphy bed that came right out of the wall like Tommy’s drum set from that first concert).

The album came out and a concert followed. First the opening band was Whitesnake. But that didn’t last because David Coverdale is such an egomaniac, dick. Can you believe he was saying his band was bringing all the girls to the concert. Yea fuck him, lol. The next band to join the tour was Guns N Roses. You don’t know how bad I wanted to go to that show. But as I said my girlfriend was pregnant. And when the Crue rolled into town she was like 8 months pregnant.  To make things worse my ex girlfriend, who had moved away the year before showed up with 2 tickets to the show and wanted to take me. There was no way I could leave my pregnant girlfriend and go to a concert with my ex girlfriend, no matter how bad I wanted to, there was just no way. So I missed that show and I missed Tommy’s drum solo where he went in a complete 360. Luckily the video for Wild Side captured it for me:

Man, I can’t believe I missed that concert.

The next time Motley came around wouldn’t be till 1990. My life had changed a lot again in those years and yet also things were very similar. I was now married with a daughter and living in Covina (which is where Motley Crue formed, by the way). I was working as a manager of a video store  when tickets went on sale for the February 13th show at the Forum with opening band Faster Pussycat (another one of my favorite bands). February 13th was the day before our first wedding anniversary (yes, I married my first wife on Valentines Day, I don’t recommend it). I had to get tickets. The only thing was, just like last time Motley Crue was on tour, my then girlfriend, now wife, was pregnant again.

But it didn’t seem to be a problem, she was due the week before. LOL.

The newest Crue album had come out the year before and from the first time I heard the title track Dr. Feelgood, (which I had heard on the radio a few weeks before the album came out. We didn’t have an internet to chase down songs before the albums were out. So that first single was all you got to go by) I knew that album was going to be great. And it was, so yes, tickets had to be bought:

I couldn’t wait to see Motley Crue for a second time. I had been to a few shows in between that first one in ’85 and this one in ’90, Iron Maiden, Guns n Roses with Aerosmith, in fact just a few months earlier I had won tickets to go see Guns n Roses with The Rolling Stones at the Los Angeles Coliseum.

Yes, just a few months before this Motley Crue show I had gone and seen Guns n Roses open for The Rolling Stones. What a great show, but due to the fact I didn’t take my wife, then a few months pregnant, not my decision alone, but it was a bad one, sort of, I guess, lol. It caused lots of problems but that’s all you get about the Guns N Roses/Rolling Stones concert for now, no one here is ready for that story!

Still because I didn’t take my wife to the Rolling Stones, because we didn’t see the Girls, Girls, Girls show, because the following day was our first wedding anniversary, you might be able to understand the decisions made that day February 13th, 1990.

I remember waking up in a really great mood. Everyone else was already up (we had 2 roommates at the time and they were both in the kitchen with my wife, both roommates were female, not that it matters, but just thought I’d point that out, keep Dorothy on the right track when she tries to use it to fit in her craziness). I went to the kitchen to see how my wife was. The past few days had been spent questioning the upcoming show. She had not had the baby yet and was very, very pregnant, due any day.

Everyone was smiling, which worried me, but she said she was felling fine. She said not to worry everything would be fine. Now I don’t want to sound like the worlds biggest dick here (you can go read many other posts to see that) but I was worried and had been for a few days. It had been obvious the baby was not coming soon enough for my wife to go to the show. That time had come and gone. In fact  if she had gone in to labor before the show, I most likely wasn’t going either. I know what a thing to worry about, but it was Motley Crue!

Well all that was past now anyways, the day was here and the only question was, did my wife feel up to going to the show. She said she was and my day got even brighter. Go ahead judge me, but again it was Motley Crue.

Alright, I was still nervous, but as the song says “On With The Show”! I put all four Motley CDs in the CD changer and got ready for the show. Another thing that had changed, tapes to CDs… I know, neither one matter anymore. Technology is a bitch.

So we got ready, kissed our daughter good-bye and headed for L.A. (about a 20 minute drive with out traffic).

We had a bottle of champagne that we were saving for our first anniversary (which remember, was the following day) and once we got to the Forum’s parking lot, we opened it up and had a glass, toasting our anniversary (and Motley Crue). Into the show we went.

I can’t tell you what it was like to be 9 months pregnant at a Motley Crue show, but I can say, I kept asking my wife how she was, and she kept replying she was fine.

Faster Pussycat came on and were awesome! When the lights went down and the arena was filled with lighters (a practice long gone, replaced now by cell phones) and they did House Of Pain:

Powerful… powerful!

Pussycat was done and it was time for The Crue to take the stage. We were way at the back, not like the 8th roll I was in the first time, but I didn’t care I was here again, and I was ready!

Green lasers took to the front of the stage creating images. First a pentagram, then the theatrical masks one smiling, the other with one a tear of blood, that quickly became a motorcycle. All along a booming voice was telling us about the trip we had made so far. But now it was time for the Doctor and with that  Allister Fiend, the lovable werewolf mascot of Motley Crue appeared in the green laser show dressed as a Doctor… as the booming voice announced it was time to “come play with Doctor Feelgood”


That was when the first set of pyro went off shaking my pregnant wife next to me. Again, I asked if she was alright, she yes, she was fine. And with that Motley raged into a loud a furious Kickstart My Heart!

Tommy had started the drum beat (at first he was the only one on stage) then with another loud expostion the rest of the guys came flying out of the ground and onto the stage. Once again, I was in sensory overload.

The set list went on like this:

Red Hot

Rattlesnake Shake

Too Young to Fall In Love

Shout At The Devil

Live Wire

Same Ol’ Situation

Slice Of You Pie

Enough to take me back to that first show, while plenty of new to make it a different experience. I definitely think the performance of Live Wire was once again, the song of the night. Get use to me saying that.

Mick then did a guitar solo. It was a slide guitar where he broke into parts of Without You, a song from the new album they did not do that night. But it made its way into the solo, and Mick is a guitar god!

Tommy’s drum solo was next, and if I thought his first one was cool, if I thought what he did on the Girl, Girls, Girls tour was incredible, I was in for a shock.

Tommy started to beat on that kit like no one else can and as he did so his drum set began to rise into the sky, high into the sky. Once it had risen to the top of the arena he stopped bangin’ on the drum long enough to say this:

“You know, people are always asking me how I’m gonna top my last drum solo on the “Girls” tour”, I’m paraphrasing, remember this was 25 years ago, “And they keep asking ‘what are you gonna do, how can you top it?’ and I tell them… this!”
And with that his drum set started moving along a track across the top of the arena ceiling. As it moved from the front of the arena to the back, Tommy played the drum part of other bands, songs from Kiss, Van Halen, Queen, etc. All the great anthems and the crowd below him sang each song out for him.

Once again, this was like nothing I had ever seen before and by the time he reached the back (right above where we sat) I was again up on the highest clouds. This was just too amazing, it had to be the coolest thing I had ever seen. Tommy stopped playing again and stood up leaning over the edge of his drum platform, hanging right there in front of all of us way at the back of this big arena. He leaned over, took a big breath, and said, “Now I’m back here with all of you with the good weed!”

The place went crazy! He sat back down playing more drum beats from crowd favorites, everyone singing all the words as the drum set made its way across the sky, back to the front of the Forum. Once there he jumped from the set, falling towards the crowd below, only to bounce back up from an attached bungee cord. Again, the place went crazy.

I looked at my wife and she to was enjoying the show. And as the rest of the songs played out she was singing along with everyone else in the place.

The set list continued on:

Looks That Kill

Smokin’ In The Boys Room

Wild Side

Girls, Girls, Girls

Home Sweet Home

Dr. Feelgood

Jailhouse Rock

Now, although my wife kept saying she was fine, and seemed to be having a good time, I could tell that each pyro explosion had an effect on her, and there were lots of them. So I have to admit, I was relieved when the Elvis Presley cover started, I knew that would be the last song, so I turned to my wife and said, we should head out to get ahead of everyone. “That’s a good idea,” she said smiling but not quite genuinely, “I’m in labor.”

We have to take a step back 3 years to when I was 16 and in the delivery room waiting for my first child to be born. We were at the hospital for about 24 hours before my daughter finally came. It was scary, I was a kid, and the experience was the most confusing, magical experience of my life. I was a little older but the moment my wife said those words, “I’m in labor” confusion and magic all over again.

As we raced to are car, I questioned her, “are you serious?”, “why didn’t you say anything?” She didn’t really answer, she just gave me a look. “I’ve been in labor since I woke up, this morning.” I knew those smiles were suspicious. Everyone at my house knew but didn’t say anything, not wanting to ruin the show. Really? Really?

Was I upset they didn’t tell me, or happy I got to go to the show?  I’m still not gonna try to answer that question, but at the time I was still full of adrenalin from the show and my mind was racing. We got to the car. My wife explains the reason she suggested the champagne toast was because she knew it would slow down the labor.

“How close are you?” I asked.

“Close,” she said. Now let me once again take us back 3 years, to our first-born. My wife, then girlfriend, had though it was time many times before it actually was. We were at the hospital twice before they actually admitted her the 3rd time, and as I said, after that we were still in the hospital for a 24 hour period before she gave birth. Luckily I wasn’t thinking about any of this, my mind was just trying to come to grips with everything, I was in shock of some sort, but I sprang into action.

As we drove out of the parking lot heading for the freeway, it began to rain. I looked over at my wife who was breathing heavily obviously going through a contraction. This was insane, I mean WTF?!?

I got us from L.A. to Covina in record time even with the rain. Went straight to my mom’s house. We rushed in, my wife was very calm, so I started to think everything was not as serious as that drive home-made it out to be. But once inside my mom timed the contractions and they were under 10 minutes apart. and they were getting stronger. So right back into the car we went and headed for the hospital.

Again I can’t stress enough how 3 years earlier everything to move so slowly, painfully slow at times. There was time to be scared, there was time to worry. Not this time.

We got to the hospital, were admitted, and in the elevator ride up to a room it was decided to go straight to the delivery room. During the elevator ride we told the nurses where we had just came from, they thought it was great, it was the first of many times that the story would be told, and we were the talk of the hospital. Not just because of the Motley Crue show, but it was now like two in the morning, Valentines Day, our first wedding anniversary.

My second child was born right after we got off that elevator and into the delivery room. the whole thing was such a blur. The feelings experienced that night are not easily put into words. I mean one moment I’m watching Motley Crue and the next I’m holding my daughter (yes, another girl). Beautiful and healthy and she had already been to her first concert.

Motley Crue!

Theater Of Pain

So, in 1983 I first hear the band Motley Crue, and by 1984 they are my favorite band. Then in 1985 I see them at my first concert, cementing it for life.
In the summer of ’85 Motley Crue’s version of “Smokin’ In the Boys Room” was all over the radio. And I was impatiently awaiting the release of their third studio album Theater Of Pain from which the song was from.

I guess I should give a little back ground to this summer. As a teen I took off from home a lot. I guess you could call me a runaway. I didn’t have a bad childhood or home life. But my parents were divorced when I was in third grade. It was  hard on me, as I guess it would be for most 3rd graders. To top it off, when my mom remarried, I did not get along with my step father. When I was in 5th grade and we were going to be moving in with my step father to be. That meant leaving my grandparents in Torrance where we had been since the divorce where I had all sorts of friends and moving to South Central L.A.

I guess it didn’t help that my grandmother had given me Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn arround this time. I fantasized about running away like they did in the book. My best friend at the time, Jeremy ( I think I mentioned him before, he’s the one with the pot head parents who worked with rock bands. Jeremy was also the one who gave me my AC DC albums I mentioned in the post before this, “For Those About To rock” and “Dirty Deeds”) we came up with an idea that we would run away to his uncle’s house in Gardena.

So after school we went to his house grabbed some food and headed out. But my sister had run home and told my grandparents of our plan and he caught up with us before we were even out of the neighborhood.

A year later though, now living in L.A., the idea of running away struck me again. My step dads apartment was small, I shared a room with my 2 brothers, and I just didn’t like my step dad or his family. They treated us like we were step kids and not family, I never liked that feeling.  I was only in 6th grade, but I just wanted to just get out into the world already. Yes, 6th grade.

I went to take the trash out, but had a back pack of clothes as well and I just took off. I won’t get into all the details (a blog for another day, we need to get back to Motley Crue) but I went to a friend’s house and spent the night under a bed. It tore my mom up bad. There were flyers everywhere. My grandparents drove up from Torrance. It was pretty bad. And I was only gone for 24 hours.

My mom had come by the friend’s house I was at, at from under the bed I heard everything that was going on and how upset and sad she was. So the next day I called home to talk to her, she started crying and begging me to come home. So I went home. Funny how quickly a parents sadness turns to anger when they realize I was safe all night while everyone worried and searched for me. (I should mention it rained that night). Yea she was pissed. But really my home life wasn’t that bad and my mom was a great mom, my step dad on the other hand (again a blog for another day), so I didn’t runaway again until the following year, 7th grade. A friend and I skipped school and hung out all night in a park. My second 24 hour runaway and again, it didn’t make my mom to happy.

My mom and step dad eventually separated and we moved to Perris, California. I really came of age the Summer of  ’84, right before the move (I’ve talked a little of that summer before, it was an awesome summer), which I spent most of the time staying at my uncle’s in Torrance catching up with all my old friends. But it is nothing compared to the summer of  ’85.

When we moved to Perris I was ready for more freedom, and if my mom said I couldn’t go somewhere or would try to ground me, I’d just take off for a while. I know, what a little spoiled shit, what can I say, I had that runaway bug in me and I had tasted freedom.

It was during the summer of ’85, waiting for the new Motley Crue album to come out that I took off one Friday night and headed to Riverside. I would go to Tyler Mall and Castle Park most weekends, usually with friends, but sometimes by myself. Like this time. I’d usually see someone I knew or just scam on the chicks.

Well I had spent the day and night playing video games and hanging out, but once everything closed up I had to make a decision on what to do. I wasn’t supposed to go out that night, so I wasn’t going home, plus I didn’t feel like making that long trip (busses had stopped running at that point, and it was a good 20 mile walk). So I started to walk around Riverside when I came across a girl and her brother. I told them I was 16 though I was only 14. I also told them I was looking for a place to crash (I had slept in an apartment laundry room the last time I had done this). Of course they didn’t believe me at first, but as it turns out, she was 16 too (lol) and had a boyfriend who was 19 and she would talk to him so I could crash at his house. There’s a lot more to this story, but I really got to get to Motley Crue.

So, long story not so long (defiantly not long story short) her boyfriend did let me stay at his house. I stayed there for 2 weeks and it was a blast. The girl’s boyfriend had a brother, Chuck,  who was 17 or 18 I think,  he and his friends had just graduated so they took me in as a sort of mascot (thinking I was 16 though again, I was only 14). We went to the beach, a senior back yard beer party, time of my life!

And it was on June 21, 1985 while I was still at this house in Corona (that’s where they lived with their mom, I’m not sure what she thought of me staying there, but she was cool about it) I was eating cereal, when the girl who lived across the street came running in. She was 17 if I remember right and very cute but my attention was pulled away from her quickly to what she held in her hand:


She had the new Motley Crue album! It had just come out that day and there it was right in front of me. It was a record so it seemed so big and beautiful to me (it was much like the time I first saw the Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album). It just sat there glowing like a red-hot flame. She opened it up and I remember what Chuck had said when we saw the boys on the inside:


“I think Nikki might have taken it too far this time”. That’s what he said, and I get it, but to me, it was the most awesome thing I had ever seen. This was the shit!

I went home that day, lol. Had to go get my own copy and blast it in my own room. I played that tape over and over again. I couldn’t get enough of it. Some of my friends thought it was too glam, but the music was just as hard as their other stuff. I think they didn’t realize how poppy the first 2 albums really were. I remember one friend saying Theater Of Pain sucked because it had a ballad on it (Home Sweet Home). I told him that was shit. Too Fast For Love (the first album) had 2 ballads on it, Merry-Go-Round and On With The Show and Shout At the Devil (the second album) had a ballad called Danger. The problem most people had was that Home Sweet Home was such a popular ballad. Lots of fans hate it when their band goes “mainstream”. I’ve never understood this. I get the whole “oh they sold out”, but that only applies to Metalica in my book. LOL, only kidding, sort of. it just makes sense, if a band is good, people are gonna listen to it.

Like I said, I played the fuck out of that album and I remember the first time saw this video:

Friday Night Videos, it was like 2 in the morning when they finally played it (I did not have MTV). Yes, it is very glammy. But let’s not forget, that year even Ozzy and Judas Priest sported the glitter!

Let’s skip ahead to October of 1985. A  friend of mine was having a Halloween party and I was going as Nikki Sixx. The guy giving the party was going as Mick Mars and another friend of mine (Mike, yes Mike) was going as Tommy Lee. Mike was another huge Motley Crue fan and his sister and aunt had already taken him to see the Theater Of Pain show earlier in the tour. He told me all about it and I was so jealous. I had never been to a concert, and I wanted badly to go see Motley Crue on this tour.

Well it turned out Mike’s sister (who was dressing as Vince for Halloween) and aunt had gotten 3 more tickets for when Motley Crue was playing in Long Beach on November 27th. They were going to take Mike again, but during one of my runaway weeks I had spent time at Mike’s aunts house, and they (aunt and sister) thought I should go to the show with them since Mike had already gone and since I was such a huge Crue fan they knew how much I would appreciate it!

Now I just had to get my mom to say I could go. I know that sounds funny. But even though I took off a lot, I couldn’t do it every time. I did respect my mom (believe it or not) and wanted her to let me go. Would I have still had gone if she said no? Duh, of course I would have, but luckily my mom could see how much it meant to me and my mom is one of the coolest, she said yes. Plus my birthday was coming up, you know I threw that in.

So it was set, I was going to see Motley Crue live!  And just a week before the show I saw this video:

You know I was ready!

The night started off with me walking over to Mike’s aunts house. It wasn’t really a house, it was a trailer out by the gypsy camp. yes Perris had gypsies back then… I swear!

Once I was there we got ready for the show, I had brought my Motley tapes over and we were listening to them while we got ready, a tradition I still do before every concert. Mike’s aunt had asked someone she knew to give us a ride for some gas money and he agreed. The only problem was, that this guy had a little 2 seater sports car. My friend’s sister and I had to had to lay on each other across the area where there should have been a back seat. No place for our feet, we just scrunched up together for the ride to Long Beach. I wasn’t complaining though, my friend’s sister was 17 and pretty hot, plus I was on my way to Motley Crue!

We got to the stadium and the guy said he would park and wait. I couldn’t believe he was just gonna sit in his car for 3 hours while we went to the show, but I didn’t care, I was walking around like the king of the world. There were people everywhere, many dressed in Motley Crue shirts (as was I). Remember I was 14, this was my first concert and it was a Motley Crue show. There was so many hot chicks dressed in the tightest, skimpiest outfits. (Did I just say hot chicks?) It was heaven all around me.

We got into the show, 8th row tickets, hell yes! I remember when we first got there a couple of girls were talking to a guy at the stage who looked a lot like Tommy Lee. back then when Tommy and Nikki were out of makeup they were very hard to tell apart, and as I started to say “Hey that looks like Tommy Lee”, I realized my mistake and what came out was “Hey, that’s Nikki Sixx!” I jumped from my seat and ran for the stage, I was too late, he was already heading back stage. I had missed a chance at meeting my hero. That’s OK, when I returned to school the following week, that story was changed to me meeting Nikki Sixx and it was almost like I had. And don’t come down on me about lying, I was in 9th grade and besides, I finally came clean, right.

Alright, I missed Nikki Sixx, but the night was just getting started. When Mike had seen the Crue with his aunt and sister the band Loudness had opened for them:


They were a Japanese  metal band. Really good band, and I was a little disappointed they were not playing at our show. Instead we got Autograph:


Yes, I was a little disappointed.

We did stand up for “Girls In Black Cars” and “Turn Up The Radio”:

It was the least we could do since most everyone else was out getting beers and snacks while they played.

Which reminds me, we didn’t have any money, but the girls did have some weed and they sold some to the people behind us so we could get nachos and a drink. The whole thing was just a fantastic blur to me. And when  that curtain came down and the Crue took the stage I was reborn.

Tommy’s drum set came down like a draw bridge and they blasted into Looks That Kill. Nikki looked like a God to me up on that stage. I was having sensory overload!

Use It Or Lose It was next, my favorite track off Theater Of Pain. I was up in my folding chair, fist high above me, singing every word!

Third song was Shout At The Devil and everyone in the stadium was up on their seats “devil horns” pumping into the electric air.

And it went on…

Fight For Your Rights, Ten Seconds To Love, Piece Of Your Action, Home Sweet Home, Red Hot, and then an amazing guitar solo from Mick Mars leading into Keep You Eye On The Money.

Followed by Louder Than Hell (and it did get louder than hell in there). Then I saw my first Tommy Lee drum solo. If you have never seen one, that is too bad, because they are unbelievable! That night his drum kit that had unfolded like a draw bridge was now  going up the opposite way till it was straight up and down with Tommy strapped in with seat belts. As the drums slowly raised to that 90 degree level Tommy played faster and faster till at the top he stopped, opened a beer, took a big drink, and threw it out into the audience, yelling “This Buds for you!”

Everyone went crazy, I went crazy! I really wanted to catch that beer.

The night went on as they screeched into Too Young To Fall In Love followed by the best 2 songs of the night in my opinion, Knock ’em dead Kid and Live Wire. Knock ’em Dead had special meaning for me which we’ll get to in a future post I’m sure. And Live Wire, well I would learn over the next few years and many more Crue shows, that Live Wire was always one of the best songs of the night! They finished the show with Smokin’ In The Boys Room and City Boy Blues. Well you might think that if you have never been to a concert before, because then came the encore!

They came back out and did a cover of The Beatles Helter Skelter… you know I was on the highest cloud at that point. What a fucking show! What a fucking night! All through it there were pyro explosions and sparks and fire.

Then to top it all off Vince Neil announced they were recording the next song live for their next album. And with that they closed with another cover… Elvis Presley’s Jailhouse Rock. They rocked it and the night was complete. A couple of years later when Motley’s next album “Girls, Girls, Girls” came out, sure enough my first concert was immortalized there on the final track. But that’s later. For that night, 30 years in the past, we headed out of the stadium, my ears ringing, again people everywhere. We found the guy waiting for us in his little sports car, and I climbed into the non back seat, wrapping around my friend’s older sister because we had to but also to stay warm (that trip home was cold for some reason, don’t know if the top was down or just the windows, but I remember it was cold), with the biggest grin on my face. That grin returns now as I remember it all like it was yesterday!

All Bad Things Must Come To An End

Earlier this year I mentioned my favorite band of all time was doing a final tour. Motley Crue would be no more. Any one who knows me, knows that calling Motley Crue my favorite band is quite an understatement. As Dorothy has pointed out, I obsess on things. Nothing shows that more than my obsession with Motley Crue. And it all started when a girl wrote something on the hand ball wall.
The year was 1983. I was in 7th grade. And for those of you that don’t know what a hand ball wall is, it’s just that, a big wall that you played handball on with a big red rubber ball. It was on one of these walls that my then girl friend wrote down:


I had no idea what she had just written down and asked her, “What’s a motley crue?” I pronounced it “mote-lee cru”. She laughed, corrected me, and told me it was a new group.

Not long after that I saw this video:

So that was Motley Crue. It was like nothing I had seen before. I was listening to things like Billy Idol (my first idol before Nikki took his place). I also had a couple AC DC albums, but this seemed to take the whole rock/punk/pop sound to a whole new level for me.

A year later Shout At The Devil would come out and my next look at Motley Crue:

I saw this video and that was it, Motley Crue was my favorite band, and it hasn’t changed since then. Sure other bands have come along and sat along the top, Guns N Roses, NOFX, Marylin Manson. Lots of good bands that I love and count as my favorites. But no one tops Nikki Sixx, Tommy Lee, Mick Mars, and Vince Neil.

Motley Crue was my first concert. 1985 on their Theater Of Pain tour. And in the years since I was lucky enough to see them live 10 times at last count. Last summer I even got to go to San Diego and see one of the shows in the final tour:

Yes, I was there, I saw this show live. It was such a great show and I had one of the best times ever. Just like all the other times I saw Motley Crue, great show, great time, and quite a few interesting tales.

So in honor of the best band ever’s last show coming up on New Years Eve, I thought I’d tell my stories of all the Motley Crue shows I’ve been to that led up to this final show.

This is gonna be a fun trip down memory lane for me, hope others enjoy it too!



This Is Gonna Hurt

It’s been a while since I posted… I have been super busy in the real world and spent a lot of the last month’s internet time IMing with people and reading lots of articles… chasing the internet as usual. We’ve had new commenters both here and on the ZW Facebook. Welcome to my new readers and old ones returned. A shout out to Son of Mankind, some of you might have caught his hi-jinx on my Facebook, actually called me LISK, yes very original. I really want to get into SOM and our conversations and other little tidbits that link him to the ongoing craziness here, and I will, most likely. But not yet.

Anyone still reading Nancy’s page? Wow, what a story-teller and what are the odds of her and Son Of Man being connected somehow? Pretty good I think. Yea we may have go back into the Nan Nan lair of absurdity. But not yet.

Nothing new from Dorothy, but Flukeyou returned, I knew he would be showing up… Oak Beach has had some stuff happening and Fluke is ready to stir up people’s misery as usual. But is there anything to some of the newest connections and stories of Oak Beach that I’m hearing? There is lots to discus here, and I know quite a few of you would like to get that discussion going again, and maybe we should. But not yet.

More readers coming from all over to see what I wrote about Milo and The Quiet Pills Saga, made me re-look at it all, found some stuff, don’t know what it means, just like most of the stuff in that ARG/Assassin mystery. But I will get to all I can find on Milo and the whole gang at Drunken Stepfather. But not yet.

Politics and religion are crashing together around the world leading us to a premature Armageddon and I fell I must comment on some of it. But not yet.

Sadly, another unarmed black man was shot by a cop. I don’t think I can put off posting about this subject much longer. But not yet.

I also did some reading on the missing prostitutes that Annie posted in the comments, and I would like to post a little about that and a few other stories I found closer to home. But not yet.

I’d like to just pull it off quickly like a bad aid, get to the point of these and other things floating around in my head, you know make it as painless as possible, but let’s face it, it’s gonna hurt regardless. The world is full of tragedy.

But not yet, not tonight… tonight, all is right, and all of the worlds tragedies must wait! Tonight we watch the stars “before they fall”.

Yes, tonight Sixx A.M. is playing and I will be there! This concert is so needed right now, because I really do feel like the stars are about to fall. I mean something has to give when everything is being shoved together. Ah yes, #WorldsCollide, what a ride.  Plus this has been a really rough week, not anything I can get into here, but man I am glad this week is over… this is sincerely a TGIF moment.

And to end this week with my hero Nikki Sixx and my Sassy girl. yea, tonight is alright.

For those of you who still don’t know about Sixx A.M. (really?) you really should check them out. The band consists of Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue on bass (he’s the Sixx) DJ Ashba from Guns N Roses on guitar (he’s the A.) and the very talented James Michael who worked with many other bands on different levels is the lead singer (he’s the M.)

Together the 3 of them are making some of the best new music out there. Don’t believe me, then check out any of there 3 albums “The Heroin Diaries Soundtrack”, “This Is Gonna Hurt”, or “Modern Vintage”, better yet check out all three. Like I said some of the best new music out there.

So I plan on forgetting all the noise in the world tonight and enjoying a show that is bound to be a spritural for me. I won’t be able to forget it all too much because Sixx A.M.’s music is pretty thought provoking. Check in on the ZW FB over the next few hours to see my “set wish list”  to see what I mean.

So off I go to get ready for a very well deserved, fun night. I’ll be back later to start ripping those band aids off.





The Devil’s In The Details

Two months ago I posted “The Devil You Know” and “The Devil You Don’t Know”…  I had planned on posting the third part (which you are reading now, well sort of, this part would not have been there if I would have written it back in August, but I didn’t) shortly after. But it got really quiet everywhere again. And it was nice. I mean there was almost no response at all from the nut gallery over at FOTM (which I didn’t expect any really, I’m sure they tell themselves I’m irrelevant, and they may be right… self-named zero, right?). It’s just as well, I don’t have time at the moment to get into the craziness that resides at that blog. It’s like the tea-party and those at FOX NEWS got together, smoked some crack laced PCP, had sex, then had a baby… and they named it FOTM (Fellowship Of The Minds).  Common sense says RUN! But I’ll just skip away for now…

The whole idea behind the 2  “Devil” posts was to ask the question out loud,  whether to continue with the crazies I have been dealing with from LISK related sites or to move on to other crazies out there in the wild, wild, web. But, the question was rhetorical. I knew who would respond first and who I would continue on with (as I said, I didn’t expect any response from FOTM, they like their crazies all in one nut sack. Easier to control the misinformation that way and how many times do I have to say Dorothy and I are BFFs?) So I knew it would be the Flukeyou/Dorothy/Nancy team to actually reply, and I was ready with a third part to the “Devil Trilogy” where we could bring up another question… will get to that at the end of this post. So I sat back and waited.

Eventually, Nancy and Dorothy had some things to say on each other’s Facebook, but that was expected. They have a zero quota to keep up with, and must mention me at least every nine days. I wasn’t so sure if Fluke would comment again… at least not so soon… but he did. So I decided to quickly get to the new post, wrote down the title which I had already planned, “The Devil’s In the Details”. Then started gathering the different things I wanted to discus and link (see it was gonna be about how all the old things from “Dorothy’s Team” such as emails, posts IMs, etc. might need to be given a second look at to see if some of it can be understood better, see if any of it means anything or just proves they are all full of lies, games, and agendas. Something I’ve mentioned before and I’m actually gonna get to that part in a minute, so this parenthesis ramble is really not needed, back to Joey’s comments…)

So Joey made some comments:




Now I’ve already answered these in the comment section, but I wanted to post them as I see them, so you can see them as I do. I love the emails Fluke uses… and the zero’sazero still cracks me up. I also want to address something. Some people still ask how I can tell it’s the real Fluke aka Joey Scalise commenting here, and I think it’s pretty obvious it’s him, but hey, they do come from different IPs as you can see here. There were 2 different IP addresses used in the new comments, so it could be 2 different people, and I have said many times, some people may still be working together as teams to keep games going. But for sake of argument let’s just say it’s Fluke. I can explain why I think they are from him, but I don’t want to… yet… it’s all about the suspense now!

I will explain one thing though, from the minute I started my blog I kept a collection of screen names and their IP addresses. So did MM7, and she once sent me her list of IP addresses:

“linda”    108.
alphamale    208.
alphamale cell?    208.
Auntie G    76.
Babylon Barry    198.
BabylonBabyDoll    71.
C Peter Hackett    70.
Cheryl    69.
CPH comment    69.114.
CPH comment 2    24.38.
CPH comment 3    24.191.
Dorothy    108.41.
Dorothy 2nd IP?    74.108.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli    67.
Ed Boyle    65.
Hackett?    209.
Jackie    70.
Jennifer cell    208.54.
Jennifer home    173.52.
Joe Scalise Cingular    198.228.
Joseph Scalise @ home    71.224.
justiceforever    (2 Ip Addresses)
Lisa’s cell    174.*
Lorraine Waterman?    76.
maineiacgirl    67.
Mandamas    97.
me    184.88.
Michael Dougherty?    24.
Murt?    184.
my cell    70.193
my cell-not home    70.193.
mysteryadikt    (2 Ip Addresses)
new IP for Hackett?    68.
ps149 #2?    166.
ps149?    208.
Scalise @ work    173.163
Sherre @ work    198.
Sunflower    71.
Susie?    74.
Todd Harrison Yaskal    76
tooclosetohome    69.
wrote my full name    24.
Zero    76.

Did you make her list? I obviously have removed most of the IP numbers, but MM7 gave me the full numbers. I know she did it to help, and I think most of the time MM7 might have been helping in her mind, but her time to get it all out in the open has come and passed, she feels she has done nothing wrong, I know many who disagree, and I am one of them.

Anyways,  I found it weird that these were the only ones she kept, I had much more, but I guess these were the ones she was pretty sure about. I compared her list to mine and started figuring some things out, but her list was a mix of screen names, people she thought they were, and people she knew they were. So it wasn’t until I had her blog to read as an administrator that I was able to truly understand her list of IP addresses.

Again she gave her blog to me freely, and before any of you say, she gave you info and then you used it against her, I’d like to point out, that until I saw her blog from her view, I didn’t know how messed up it really was. Plus I did not ask for it and she still sent it to me twice! I wouldn’t even open the link she sent the first time, I was very leery of opening links people sent me and could not understand why she would send me it:


Again think of me as you want, but part of the problem, actually a lot of it, was and is that some of those involved here were/are sharing so much information, misinformation, and personal information with everyone. Plus, as I said, reading that blog as it really was, made me see MM7 in a final light as far as I’m concerned. But I still think she could help nail the likes of Dorothy and Joey if she really wanted to. So whether she thinks she is helping or not, I think she could and doesn’t… plus she helped confuse a lot of stuff in my opinion. Yes, my overly public way of putting things out there may be wrong to some of you, but the private passing of info was way more damaging and in my opinion, still, shedding a light on all of it can only help. Well, most of the time I think that. Sometimes I think we should all just shut up. but that ain’t happening.

So Joey made some comments… yawn. Dorothy and Nancy’s stuff was much better:

nan fb dph zero richie 8-31

This one cracks me up. Hopefully I don’t have to explain why. But I will. Nancy actually stumps Dorothy here. Dorothy tries though. I don’t know which is funnier, Nancy’s classic reply to Dorothy’s lame attempt to confuse her about who I am or Dorothy’s hilarious explanation?  If I’m pretending to be Richie, then who am I? Oh, maybe you don’t know, but then how would anyone know what I look like? Oh the whole thing is such a ludicrous, conundrum. It makes me laugh to tears. I bet Dorothy wanted to say “Zero is Richie”, but that would show their cards. Right? Get it? Sort of? Hope so, cause I’m moving on:

nancy fb dph zero sept 20

I gotta clear this up, red and black are a lot of people’s favorite colors. I AM NOT MIKE! In fact growing up, as I have said many, many times, I idolized Nikki Sixx, his favorite colors listed once in a magazine were red and black, up till then mine was just red, but from then on it has always been red and black. No dots to connect, I just really idolized Nikki Sixx (still do, just got the new Sixx A.M. album “Modern Vintage” and I LOVE it! Playing it in the car every day, sorry, back to the post). I really wish you would stop seeing everyone as your ex. It’s wrong and it’s unhealthy. I’m done with that whole game. I’m not Mike. I won’t say it again. (sigh… yes I will).

O.K. what else?

dph n fb fl

Now why is Dorothy bringing up Florida to Nancy?

dph fb fl

Oh no she didn’t? Kind of weird that MM7 ain’t threatening to sue Dorothy. I mean that’s straight VENT BLOG SHIT all over again. But then Murt has some messed up stuff about MM7 on his blog:


I mean this is worse than anything I have posted, right? Although I do agree with Murt (and the fact that MM7 made me agree with Murt only adds to that mountain, Murt is a real creepy guy, I mean really creepy) that there is some fishy stuff with the whole Drone talk, and I do think Murt was brought in to help confuse that whole situation, but my point here is, this guy is right in Florida, why not sue him or threaten him in some way? Maybe there’s more to this Murt connection then I thought. But again, we moved to far ahead.

This last one gave me mixed feelings:

dph nancy fb zero sept 20

“Who is this sociopath?” LMAO, funny stuff, but again, please, don’t mention my children in your BS posts, I’m sure I covered this… last warning.

Also it’s absurd to say I attacked The Scalise family, or Cristin’s family, or Dorothy’s family. I won’t even dignify it with a response. But hey, she posted a link to my blog. That was helpful. I like when world’s collide!

I was ready to respond to all of this and get to this post (yea, I haven’t even gotten to this post yet, not the one I had planned already) but then I decided to wait. I mean why jump when they want me to? I know a lot of you think I do. So I didn’t. I took the Sunday I had planned to write this and just relaxed… but now I feel I should finnish this “Devil Trilogy”! It might have lost something in the wait… or gained too much… I’m not sure which… but onward we go…

So as I said, after I wrote those 2 posts 2 months ago I decided to take a new look at some old stuff for the third post, like this email from Dorothy:

dph email1

dph email2

dph email3

Wow, Nancy Evans Figat is mentioned. I didn’t know the name back then so it meant nothing to me, but with hindsight I can see Dorothy was trying to play the “Mike” game way back then, it just never took off because no one knew what she was talking about. I see another name that might mean something:

Pete Fiorello.

Or is it Peter Fiorillo?

Dorothy brings this name up a lot. And others have mentioned it to me in private. Am I suppose to chase this name like I have done other names so many times before. All of us chasing names and theories. Will it ever lead any of us to answers?

Well then let’s get it all out there in the open. Anything else in that email that stands out? And how about some of these other names I have seen out there:

Rebecca Hayashi

Peter Brendt

Alison Raffaele

Inge Curtis

Matthew Hackett

Rebecca Dennis

Joe Gargiulo

Gino Fiorelli or is it Eugieno Hernandez?

(NOTE: It was October 21st when I was writing this and planned on finishing and posting it the next day. But in real life I was dealing with car issues and other problems I won’t get into here,  they did all eventually work out, I know a few of you knew about them and I just wanted to update you. Also Linda came to Las Vegas, blowing my mind a little. We had a great time, and I enjoyed meeting her. She is just as she says she is. This made me wonder if I should continue… I mean, real people are involved here. Some good, some bad, some bat shit crazy… do I continue or run away like some of the others. So I stopped, right where the real post would have originally started back in August or September. Dorothy’s email and a list of names, which might have been larger had I continued… but again, I had stopped…  I should also point out Nancy had been constantly IMing me on Facebook, and others said they were also in conversations with Nancy as well. You could guess how those went and probably be right, they all come back to the same stuff, all though now we are getting away from Nazis and into extraterrestrials (more on all that soon, patience and suspense everyone!). Then someone let me know Nancy asked about my wife… Why would Nancy bring up my wife to someone she doesn’t really know? Why would Nancy bring up my wife to someone who does not know my wife? All right fuck it, let’s finish this post and let the chips fall where they may. 11/6/14)

I could go on name dropping, like many here like to do… but let’s stick to some sort of story line:




Does this email Cristin sent me back in May of 2013, which is just an email she had sent Jen back in April of 2013 help explain anything? It does show the connection between them all. And that the break up came right before Jen came out in my blog. I’m thinking she was there all along, but now that the friendship was over she wanted to chime in on a few things. Funny thing is Jen and Cristin often sent me the same emails “from” or “to” each other to try to show me how it was the other one who played the games… how many of those emails are worth relooking at?

jj on 2 cbs

Is there something to be learned from the fall outs with Mari?

candyce ss

These ladies went out of their way to discredit each other to Mari, how much of it went on to be games and attacks on each other? By the way, that screen shot was sent to me by Jen, so the red scribble on it is hers, I believe trying to show me things… but the more they all tried to show me things, the more it looked like a bunch of crazies wrapped up in a never-ending caucus race. I’ve said this before, correct?  So, are there things to be learned from  these old feuds? Or how ’bout the fights that poured over from Websleuths?


Cristin sent me that a while back. It was one of her reasons for thinking PS149 was stalking her and was indeed CPH (Dr. Hackett). There are lots of emails and stuff on this subject, as well as the things on Websleuths and LISK.com that can still be seen. I’ve already clearly stated my opinion on whether CPH has ever read or been involved in any of the blogs, it was “not a chance” and nothing to this date has changed my mind on that. But I do wonder how many from Websleuths got involved in the games of “Catching LISK“.  There are lots of this that spill into Websleuths world, a world I’m not suppose to talk about out of Websleuths, which kinda bothers me. Why does that place have to be kept so hush-hush? There is stuff to be learned there… lots of stuff. Right? So why not let people talk about it? What is there to hide? Something I’d like to get more into… but right now I’m focused on its past with MM7 and Flukeyou and the mess that came out of it. Untangling everyone,  if you will.

So was it just a feud between sleuthers that bled into a feud against lonely crazy ladies that tried to cling onto a tragic case? One that Fluke used to focus his own agendas on…

A bunch of feuds between some selfish people??? Is that all it all was? Is? Or was/is there something more to all it?

Is there stuff to be read in an old post like this, that may help?


Again, reading this a second time (I found it a while back) with hindsight, might help understand some things. I mean, it isn’t hard to tell who wrote some of that stuff knowing what I know now. And that takes us back to some old gamers I’ve been warned to just leave out… should all of it be left alone then? Is it worth making some of these people account for their actions, explain their lies?

Most people think there is nothing to any of the lies and games peddled by all these people and sites… and I must admit that they keep leading me back to nothing… and yet in the same breath most say they think something is there… somewhere… in the CCC stuff… or the Utopia Guide stuff…… or in the Oak Beach Residences like Joey or Hackett… or in the connections to other cases and suspects… from the suicide of  JB, the aquarium guy to the recent arrest of JB the possible serial killer… everyone has questions… everyone has connections… my question is… do we keep looking at old stuff even if it is from nut balls and people with agenda to compare to new stuff that may mean something? I mean can listening in on Flukeyou explaining to MM7 how he got his screen name help us with any REAL insight? Someone sent me a link to it as if it did:


You tell me… does any of this (and more like it, much, much more) help sort useful stuff from crap? I mean we all have stuff like this, right? Should it all be examined and weighed in on? At the very least it helps show how full of crap some people were/are. Right?

Or am I the crazy one here?


Motley Crue Retirement

Just read this:


So I have to take a moment to blog my feelings here.

Motley Crue was my first concert. Years later I took my younger brother to his first concert, Motley Crue. And even more years later I took my daughter to her first concert, Motley Crue. I have dressed up as Nikki Sixx for Halloween more than any thing else (if you don’t count The Stranger) I have been a die-hard Motley fan since I was 13 years old!

This somber mood I have been in today, just got a little more somber.


So, I may have mentioned once or twice my love for music and lyrics. When I was younger I thought I would grow up to be a rock star. Nikki_Sixx  from Mötley Crüe was my idol. I was even in a couple garage bands back in the 80’s.

But I didn’t  have much talent other than writing lyrics and an ear for what would become popular. That might have been enough if I really did something with it. But I didn’t  and that is just life.

I never stopped writing lyrics though and I have so many of them that I just think the time has come to do something with them. So I am gonna post some here. And if there are any aspiring artist or accomplished one for that mater, who likes any of them, feel free to use them, all I ask is you mention the name zero on your album jacket if you use them in a song.  And with that I am going to write an original right now . It should be good because my head is raging with emotion lately. ( it might be crap too, I haven’t written a whole song in a while) Here it goes:


The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out.

Why does everybody have to scream and shout

Nonsense and hypocrisies

Blamings of you and me

Forever procrastinating

Deceitful and aggravating

Are we left to what is waiting


or is it just another lie?


I read the news today, something ’bout the human race

Sherlock Holmes is on the case

But no one’s the wiser

When we disguise her

We just get higher

Glass house town crier

Another liar!


it’s all


we fall


and what will become of us?


I don’t want to sound disrespectful

But you have quite a mouthful

It’s time to spit it out

Eliminate all the doubt

Last american boy scout

And find out

What it’s all about


we get


the shit


I get






lust to dust

what’s become of us